A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a 17 year old female and i have struggled with an addiction to maturbating since i was 12 years old. I hate this about myself and desperatly need to stop. I am afraid that when i am married my husband won't be able to pleasure me like i can pleasure myself. This is an addiction and it does controll many aspects of my life. Please help me im desperate. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2010): I used to have that same problem but I figured when I was horny was mostly when was alone and thinking about sex So keep yourself busy and try to be alone less -It helps Its not advisable to masturbate all the time. If you have a boyfriend try more sex with him and you could tell him the things you like so he could do them the way you like
A
male
reader, Mandiwanthomen  +, writes (5 December 2010):
First for change the habits you have to replace it with other thing....masturbation is not good for you because you are addicted as I was...Stop for good ..change your thoughts about sex , if you watch porno don't watch anymore....for you masturbate yourself you have to have free time make yourself busy...if It's at night before sleep... be tired first. if it is when you wake up...take a shower and don't touch yourself......you're right masturbation will mess all relationship that you will have ..control yourself... there are sites Internet about break sex addictions , masturbation, and fantasies..the name is www.porn-free.org...you find help there and there are many other websites to free us about that ...be happy
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2010): Stop worrying about the frequency of masterbation. You may also be feeling a peak in your libido. It will pass, and then return again later. It's your hormones, some hormones are more active than others.
Masterbation is a good way to deal with it.
Delight in your sexuality and celebrate your sensuality.
Though don't be boring and use the same technique every time. Experiment and vary what you do, just as you will vary what you eventually do with your husband when make love together.
When you and your husband make love you will have a whole range of new things to learn about pleasuring your husband and enjoying him pleasuring you.
Never put up with a man who is not inerested in all forms of foreplay, by and for him, and by and for you. Making love without foreplay (which can be before, during and after coitus) is like a wedding without the wedding reception to celebrate the occasion.
Sex with a partner is different to masterbation. Different techniques, different sensations. In no way is masterbation a threat to your relationship with a man later, except where the man is insecure and ignorant to the benefits of masterbation by the woman to both the man and the woman in the relationship
Do try to choose a man who has excellent staying power and has a high sex drive. Otherwise you will be disappointed.
You don't have to 'test' a man to discover this. You just have to Watch his level of sensuality.
Watch how well he communicates with others. Especially watch out for a man (who is NOT sleazy) but who genuinely likes women, but is not boastful and not arrogant. Watch for a generosity of spirit. Look to see that he is genuinely confident. These are often indicators of a strong sex drive. Men who are successful with women don't have to boast about it.
Whereas mean spirited, boastful, arrogant, nasty, cynical, unkind, selfish, low self esteem men who are not confident with woman are to be avoided. There is a reason why they are unsuccessful with women.
Do not allow anyone to denigrate masterbation to you. People have been successfully and happily doing it for millions of years.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (4 December 2010):
 You are the only one who can take control again. Limit yourself, bit by bit. You have already taken the first step in realizing that this is an addiction.
Everyday, distract yourself from it. Stop thinking about masturbation in general, avoid thoughts that would lead you to masturbation. Keep your hands away from the areas that stimulate you, no matter what.
I know it will be difficult but you must persevere. Your own strength of will shall always rule over your problems. Mind over matter. Whenever you feel the urge, you must release it somehow, spill it out through other things. Art perhaps. Start painting when you feel that urge come over you, start writing or keep a journal and write about how you were able to overcome it. You are stronger than it.
If in the event you find that it is unbearable, you need to tell someone who can help you. Good luck.
I hope that helps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2010): I have the same problem. Im now 22 and have been doing it since about that age.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2010): I wouldn't worry, self-pleasuring is great, to be sure, but there is no substitute for another person doing it for you.
Flynn 24
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2010): Hey there!
First off, do you watch porn? That can easily trigger a masturbation addictiona dn also a psychological addiction, both of which are unhealthy for yourself and any future relationship. If you are masturbating with just imagination, I would think that is better given that your mind is working to fantasize and stimulate itself vs watching visuals and making your mind used to seeing something. Its normal your age to be driven like this its just the manner in which you do it in.
It is better to do what you are doing probably than to be having a lot of sex cause that can be dangerous and unsafe. Hope this helps.
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