A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi AllI think my boyfriend of over a year is using me for sex but I can't bring myself to dump him. He never has time to come see me unless he cames pick me up and we go to his place for sex. after that he wont see me for about a week till he wants me to come over again, this pattern has been going on for a few months, whenever I talk to him about it he says he didnt realize it, just that he's busy. Calling me he does but seeing me unless its for sex he dsnt. My BFF even asked if we are still dating or if we are sex partners now n that made me realise how much this is hurting me. I called him and told him we need to talk, he said we must talk on the fone as he was at work n wont have time to come see me, I told him how I felt, again he said he didnt realize. I told him to come see me after work no matter how late it is, he asked Why whats wrong, I said I wanted to see him. Well he never came n never called. I cried at night thinking about it and called him, asked him to please break up with me as I love him too much to break up with him. He straight out refused. He said he wasnt ready to break up and I musnt make him do it, I should do it since Im the one wanting to break up. I asked him repeatedly to break up with me, he ended up getting upset and said i must stop the bullshit. Well I didnt/couuld'nt dump him. What to do :'( .... Please help :( :(
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male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (2 August 2010):
 Yes he is using you for sex. That isn't to say that he doesn't like you but just that patterns like this once established are hard to break and he is unlikely to put in any more effort in to the relationship in the future once he has established that he doesn't have to.
I have a relationship like this. Very nice girl, 21 year old student but the only time that I ever see her is if I'm going round to her place to have sex with her and the only time that I do that is when the alternatives are not around. It isn't healthy. You should call it off and find a boy who will be a proper boyfriend to you. Really, it won't get better.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (2 August 2010):
 You "think" he's using you for sex? I think you can count on it. It's up to you to break this cycle, and only you. Gird up thy loins.
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A
female
reader, natmarie  +, writes (2 August 2010):
 Hi. I;m really sorry you are going through this. It sounds as if he is using you for sex. I know you really love him but is there any chance you could find someone eles to date whilse you are sroting this out? this might take your mind of it. You see, it;s very very painful having breakup sex with someone, as you are not allowing yourslef time to heal.. everytime you sleep with him , you go back to square one. he is actully being really selfsih to you. Try to swicth your phone off, and ignore him. I know that wil be hard, but the only way o go through this is to go through the pain barrier. I am in the process of doing it myself. I have ben sleeping on and off with a boyfriend who told me he just wnats to be freinds for the last month. I have been so depressed about it , and was crying, and staying in bed for days etc, and I kept on and on calling him, and he only responds. I even told him how much |I love him lots of times, but have had to go throigh ther pain. make a promise to yorslef that you will not contact this guy agin, really try. In a few months time you will look back at this and wonder what it was all about.
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A
male
reader, MAX D  +, writes (2 August 2010):
 You have to make this guy, understand that you are serious in what you are saying.It does sound like he is using you for sex which is wrong,the longer this goes on the mor hurt you will be feeling which is not fair to you.I do understand that you realy care for this guy and dont want to finish with him but you have to do something.Contact him today and tell him that you are not brakeing up with him but that you feel that you need to take a break and do it if only for a month and see what his reaction is and if he is genuine you will soon know take care and let me know how things work out Max D.
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A
female
reader, Dr.Ski +, writes (2 August 2010):
i say, he is acting.. he has got you wrapped around his little finger! you shouldnt stand for that! He is a man, they all crave sex.. its on their mind's most of the day! I know it will be hard too leave him, but if you think about it.. do you really deserve this? Because in my opinion you dont deserve this at all! Break it off with him, and find someone new, someone that will really appreciate you, have time for you, care for you etc.. Believe in yourself x
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