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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My guy hates my cat, and told me that I can't take him with us when we buy a house. He's not allergic to the cat, and the cat hasn't done anything bad or been mean at all. He just thinks my cat is annoying.I had the cat before I meet him. Should I give up my cat? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2008): This man is dangerous. At the moment he is hitting the cat, and for no other reason but that it miaows - that is what a cat does. If this is the way he reacts when something (or someone?) annoys him you should NOT repeat NOT be thinking of living with him.
The cat is yours and you love it - do not give it up. Hope this helps---Matelot
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female
reader, tytoalba  +, writes (1 January 2008):
 If it were me i would say the cat and me are a package deal. From my stand point it almost seems like he's trying to see if he can manipulate you and how easy he can get what he wants from you. Happy New Year.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2008): Hi, I see a big red flag here. This guy hits and scares your cat when it does what comes naturally to a cat and meows? This man has little respect for you or he would not treat your pet that way. He sounds very controlling for one, and he has anger management issues.
Do you see yourself having babies with this man? What is he gonna do when the baby cries, hit it or yell or fuss or refuse to help you? I think you get my point. Wake up. People ALWAYS tell us who they are if we will only listen.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy cat is strictly an indoor cat. But I feed him, clean his litter box, and give him baths (he likes water and to cut down on the fur.) My cat, my responsibility.
I have talked to him about this directly and the issues that he has I can fix. Although it makes it hard when I can't have the cat in the same room as him anymore, and he constently scares and hits him if he meows.
I just gave up my other cat a couple of months ago because he didn't like that one. Since she was more sensative I felt it was in her best interest to re-home her. Although it breaks my heart every time I think about her.
It just feels like this has gotten out of control.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2007): There is a different problem here, the cat is just the target this month.
Your guy is selfish and he may even be using you to help him buy a house....he is not asking you to marry him before the sharing of such an important asset is he?
Any guy who truly loved you, would put you and your needs first....and wanting to force you to give up a beloved pet when it is not for medical reasons is just the tip of the iceburg, where is he going to stand and on who's side when other issues come up? You guessed it, you will always come last...when he doesn't agree.
As far as the cat is concerned, it is very unfair to the cat also, he/she has feelings, is attached to you and dependent on you for it's care, although it might adjust to a new home why should you have to give up some thing you love just to be with a man? The answer is you don't, stand your ground and ask for the marriage commitment you want, don't apologize, you deserve the whole story not just the jacket liner.
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female
reader, Seratuki +, writes (29 December 2007):
 Okay...
I have 3 cats, so I speak only from personal experience...I would NEVER give up my cat..esp if there's no logical reason to do so. He's not allergic or anything..and my cats are my children in most ways, I care for them..I watched them grow from kittens. They depend on me just like your cat depends on you.
I could see if he was allergic or the cat was mean, but otherwise...I'd tell him to forget it. Keep the cat =)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2007): Most people here say stick with the cat - but i don't think its so simple.
As dc.ryan says, its all a question of who you value more. Perhaps in some circumstances, giving up the cat might be a sacrifice you might want to make for this man, if you feel he is worth it.
& not meaning to sound harsh also, but remember men tend to out-live cats...
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male
reader, kenny +, writes (28 December 2007):
 Personally i think he is taking a rather selfish approach to your cat. I could understand if he came out in blotches and rashes and blew up like a balloon every time he came into contact with it. To just find your cat annoying is not an acceptable excuse to not take your cat with you to your new home. I think you have got to talk to him about this, tell him that you have had the cat before you met him, and you love it very much, and where you go the cat goes.
All the best x
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female
reader, Butterflyfly +, writes (28 December 2007):
 I think he is a bit unfair, especially if he is not allergic to cats or he hasn't had horrible experiences with them in the past to find them scary or repulsive etc. But just saying he finds them 'annoying', is that all!?!? If he hasnt taken into consideration what dc.ryan has said, then what else will he ask next? is this guy thinking about you at all?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2007): No person, if they were truly compatible, would ever even dream of asking someone to give up a pet. He's trying to control you and by asking you to do something so unreasonable is proving that he thinks he can get away with it.I think you're mad if you buy a house with this man. You'll regret it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2007): no, he new about it beforehand. So he should have known thats a given.. If he loves you, he should love your cat too.
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female
reader, LouLee +, writes (28 December 2007):
 So what if your pet is annoying...tell him to get over it. seriously...? he is expecting you to get rid of it? i advise you not to get rid of your pet as you'll most likely end up regretting it.
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male
reader, dc.ryan +, writes (28 December 2007):
 Well, its a question of value - do you value your boyfriend more than the cat?
How ever, perhaps a one to one talk would be in order first - its not fair that you have to give up something you love for him, explain to him that you love the cat and it would be unfair to give it away.
I can understand your judgement concern, as its very hard to giveup one thing for another (especially something close to you such as a pet) - but unfortunately, life has its changes and you obviously are in love with your guy else you wouldn't be looking to buy a house together.
Talk to him first, express your feelings - and ask him whats so bad about having a cat - tell him its unfair (personally I think its unfair you're being forced into giving up your pet for him).
Ryan
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