A
male
age
36-40,
*olostinlife
writes:Ok so i have been with a girl for six years and we have had our ups and downs like every one else, but the problem is ive sat down for a long time and asked myself do i really love her? i have feelings for her and i do like seeing her but not being around her for too long. she has been good to me always gave me love, attention and treats me like a queen was i was younger im 21 now wen i was 17 i cheated on her i recently told her about it she went crazy but she forgave me. it hurts me wen i think about how hurt she is, but my point is even through all the good she has giving me theres a doubt in me i dont know if i love her or if its just that im used to her. we broke up recently but she ignored me for a week now shes almost cumming back to me im giving her hints that i dont have the same feelings but all she says is im using her. how can i tell her i need time away from her she says she dosent believe in taking breaks and getting away from each other for a while to see what happens, she says if we do that she will never talk to me again. how please someone tell me how to tell my girlfriend/ex-girlfriend we need to get away? she really loves me a lot but i dont know if i love her i dont really miss her wen i go a while without seeing her. HELP
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female
reader, nicollieollie  +, writes (1 October 2009):
Well i personally think you should tell her right away that you have been confused and you need to think about things. if you stay with her because you know she loves you and you feel bad for her, it will only hurt her more when she starts noticing that your feelings have faded. Eventually girls do catch on to this and its better if you tell her first. If you stay in the relationship even though youre not sure you love her, i think she will end up suffering and you shouldnt have to go through that either. Just be gentle and honest with her.good luck
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (30 September 2009):
It does sound like this has come to and end and you should let her go as quickly as possible. To do that, you've got to be calm, controlled and short. Sit her down, look her in the eyes and tell her it's over. Explain that you're feelings have changed and that you both need to find other people that you can love. Then, delete her number, don't take her calls and leave her be. Yes it will hurt her, but you need to make sure she can move one, and that means no more contact. (don't toy with her). That's all I can suggest. There's no easy way to do this, but at least do it in person.
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A
female
reader, Beemo +, writes (30 September 2009):
Maybe somewhere inside you, your trying not to let yourself love her because of what you have done to her. Maybe deep down, your a little worried she could do it to you at some point.
The best thing you can do is tell her exactly how you feel, tell her you need time away, where you can think, without talking to her at all for a while. Atleast then you can find out if you do miss her.
If you really think that your only with this girl out of habit. Then maybe you should call it a day.
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A
female
reader, Jodie1985 +, writes (30 September 2009):
Relationships are complicated to say the least! I have been with my partner for 8 years and i have asked myself the same questions.. Do i still love him or is it just habbit? We seperated for a while and i realised i really do want to be with this man.. sometimes a break away makes u realise what you have got. You need to be strong and tell her you need time for yourself to figure out what it is that you want, if she loves you and cares about you she will understand! If you stay together for the wrong reasons it will make you both miserable.. hope things work out for you both!
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