A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for about one year. A couple of months in (when we started talking about exclusivity, etc.) we discussed what we were looking for. I'm 29, and I don't want children and haven't really thought much about getting married, I always figured I would deal with it when it became an issue. My boyfriend is 42, doesn't want children, was married once and claims he doesn't want to marry again. I'm fine with that...So here's the thing...the past couple of months he's been bringing marriage up a lot. I always laugh it off because I assume he's being funny but lately it doesn't seem like much of a joke. He says he loves me and plans on keeping me forever and sends me random text messages asking if I'll marry him.Is it possible he's considering marriage? We've only been together for a year so it feels kind of sudden for someone who has sworn it off... I love him and want to be with him. I just can't tell if he's trying to gauge my reaction to the topic or if he really is just joking around and I'm not sure how to bring it up.Any advice?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (30 September 2009):
No, I don't think he does. Sit him down and have a serious talk with him. I think he's saying it to try and keep you.
A
female
reader, eml2041 +, writes (30 September 2009):
In my experience men don't joke about marriage unless they are serious. Most women are so eager to get married I think men have realized not to speak lightly of the subject for fear that their women would go a little overboard with the idea. However in your case you aren't particularly in a hurry to get hitched and I am guessing that you have made your boyfriend aware of that. So he is (in my opinion) joking about it so that he can, like you said, gauge your reaction. People don't like rejection and he probably doesn't want to sound serious in case you are not, then things would be awkward. So here is my advice really think about how you feel about marriage and if you like the idea of marrying him, next time he jokes about it joke back in a positive way. Let him know the idea is at least something to talk about. Maybe have adiscussion with him about it.
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