A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I hope someone can give me some advice. I know I sound pretty inept about it, but it's been about 5 years since I've really dated someone.There's a girl who started working where I do recently, our work is such that we only see each other every couple of weeks and even then it's rare to get a chance to talk without 20 other people around. I'm pretty sure I've noticed her smiling at me. Yesterday we were alone together for the first time and had a nice chat, she asked a lot of questions about me, and I about her. What I can't tell is if she's just being friendly or is really interested. Replaying it in mind now, it seems like she is, but I've had similar experiences in the past only to find out the girl had a boyfriend (or I noticed a wedding ring after a couple of conversations), so I'm wonder if I just can't tell socializing from flirting. I know there's not a lot here to go on, but I'd appreciate any insights you might have.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2013): some women are just friendly. however, it is every man's dream to have women do what this girl is doing...women usually keep to themselves because in this stereo-typical world we live in, if a girl starts talking to a guy, then she's coming on to him when in fact she may just be a friendly person.do you know if she talks to other men? are you the only one she seems to be more friendly to? that could be a good sign there.remember, women are somewhat shy. so if you dont make a move soon, she'll feel embarrassed and will lose interest--if there is any.i would just ask her for lunch or even her phone number and if she gives it to you or accepts lunch, take it from there but don't be too aggressive. pay her a nice compliment the next time you see her. tell her you like talking to her and you would like to know her better. see how she reacts to that.good luck!
A
female
reader, Faded Lights +, writes (16 April 2013):
Well there really is no way to tell until you ask her out. This is the age old question thats virtually impossible to figure out sometimes. All you can do is casually ask her out and see what see says. You seem to have known her for a long time now so its perfectly appropriate to do that. I've had people ask me out on my first meetings with them and then I have to break the news that I have a boyfriend. It's not embarrassing for either of us because it was a simple misunderstanding. So I'd say you really have nothing to lose asking her out. If she says yes then great! And if she says no she has a boyfriend/husband then you get piece of mind that shes unavailable anyway
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (16 April 2013):
You've been single for five years because you are afraid. This isn't something you need the internet to help you with, or a private investigator.
She very well could just be nice. But you still can ask her out. Why don't you start by as ng her to lunch? If she accepts it doesn't mean she likes you but it's a good way to get to know her more.
Grow a pair or you'll be single for a long time. The best way to do that is to realize that rejection is nothing to be afraid of. It just means you're not their type.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 April 2013):
IF you are interested in getting to know her better and there is no problem with dating co-workers, then the best thing to do is ask her to join you for lunch or something and get to know her better.
The worst thing you will find out is that she's just a friendly person and you've made a new friend/co-worker.
IF she's interested then you've started the ball rolling.
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A
male
reader, Hnk +, writes (16 April 2013):
Hello Mate Dating is a tricky world and it is mostly hard to tell for sure if girls are interested but there are always some hints and answers which we find to imply ! Talking and smiling and asking lots of questions is a good sign but you can't be sure as she might be just talking to you as coworker.Things to notice to know if someone likes you are :When she stands, look is she facing you and her feet pointing in your direction too? Is she smiling alot and seems eager and excited? Girl eyes dilate is a very good sign(not in sunlight or extreme bright light ) She plays with her hair or her earrings or changes her posture to show her cleavage qor look more beautiful etcshe finds reasons to talk to you Well, the best way I suggest is just next time you meet her, ask her if she will like to have a coffee after work or something like that. If she asks if that's a date, tell her yes.I am sure you will know if she likes you for CERTAIN after asking her out .Good luck
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