A
male
age
30-35,
*nickx
writes:Ugh. I hate that its coming to this.Im going to keep this as short as possible.My girlfriend and i have been together for 7 months now. I undoubtably LOVE her. She is the most amazing girl ive ever met. She's the type of girl i would want to spend the rest of my life with down the road. Our relationship has never been easy, she lives some 30-40 miles away, and since i dont drive, i can only see her on my dads schedule, which is tough because hes always working, im in countless school activities football, nhs, etc plus working, so im rarely freed up.Lately, shes been blaming herself for this, that we dont see each othere a lot. I tell her its not, and its mine, because it is.We talk every night on the phone for 1-2 hours... lately just everything has been losing its spark. 2 nights ago i was sick, so i fell asleep we didnt talk. Last night, it was basically all tears from her, i felt horrible that i couldnt help. its getting to the point where we hardly text anymore.She says i dont know how much she loves me and misses me and that killed me, cuz i do. She just sounded like she was about to give up on us last night.Shes unhappy, its bothering me becuase i cant fix it. Part of it is we knew what we were getting into when we started our relationship, we just didnt know it would get this serious, and it getting to serious too fast caused it to lose its spark too quickly.I think the best way to solve this is for us to take a break for a few months, get back together when we're both ready for this relationship, to see if things have changed but i really dont know how to say that without hurting her feelings, causing something worse between us.Not to mention, she is totally dependent on me for her happiness. She tells me im the only thing keeping her to run away, i dont want anything to happen to her. i love her, and i believe her when she says she loves me... i just dont know how to tell her this...Please and thanks...xnickx
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male
reader, xnickx +, writes (27 May 2010):
xnickx is verified as being by the original poster of the question well i cut it off last night around midnight. she was on the phone crying and i was finding ways to just put it off longer until she finally said i know its coming so just tell me...
Yes it killed me. At this point we're still talking as friends, she wants to get back together later on... hopefully while im grounded and dont have a phone over the summer her feelings will change, if not at least i have4 months to figure out how to get out.
The thing that killed me most was yes i have feelings for her, but she just got too attached and i wasnt ready for it...
Oh well, thanks. if anything happens later on regarding this ill keep you posted.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (25 May 2010):
There is no way of doing it without hurting her. You just have to do it. Make is short and calm, and just explain that at this time you don't think you're ready for a relationship and you think it would be best to end it. There's no way of not hurting her. You just have to do it.
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A
male
reader, xnickx +, writes (25 May 2010):
xnickx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm almost certain that i want to break up with her. And i know a break probably wont work either. Whats bothering me most is that i dont know how to break it to her without crushing her.
She's crying so much (i'm guessing) because things we'd used to say like we'll be together forever, i'd never leave her, etc. She took it wayy sseriously and lately started talking about marriage and having kids later on down the road. Stupid me went along with it because i didnt realize it would hurt anything.
Another thing that bothered me was last night she asked me if i wanted to take a break. i couldnt say yes because she was already in tears cuz she says she still feels it everytime i say i love her… meanwhile i honestly dont feel the same. She said she would cry herself to sleep… im not a jerk, I hate hurting people. To further this, after I told her I had to think about it (and I know by drawing it out its not helping anything) she said okay you know what that means and hung up and then woke up this text:
“if you truly want to do this this text may completely ruin us. But at this point, im honestly ready to take that chance. I have been the biggest idiot in the entire world. I never knew what I meant when I said I cant live without you until tonight. Lets just say im very VERY tempted to end me right now. Im scared to death to send this. I probably wont. If this is what you want, then okay. I just want you to be happy. But if its not what you want, im begging you. I need you nick. Im getting no sleep whatsoever. Its been the worse night of my life. I just want to fall asleep and never wake up. Im so sorry.. I swore to you id never leave you, that id always be here but tonight I broke that promise and it is absolutely killing me. I love you. You don’t need to text me back”
Idk. I keep thinking if she cares that much, maybe I should still try but it doesn’t seem worth it. At this point I don’t want to try. Aside from multiple things saying she’d kill herself, “I swore to you id never leave you” kills me and idk if shes guilting me or being sincere.
Im trapped guys… help me out.
how can i find a way to let her down easy... Im pretty close with her mom by now so i was wondering if i could have her help. i just dont want to hurt her.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 May 2010):
Sorry, but this is not going to work out at all. Don't even bother with a break. Accept it's over. The moment you have breaks, things start to go wrong. Many couples have breaks, and it very rarely works out. The truth is that at your age, you're just too far away to be able to hold down a proper relationship with a woman that far away. I'm sure you do love her, but it's not time to move on. Other girls will come along. But this just won't work out
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A
female
reader, laetitia  +, writes (24 May 2010):
 I can't understand if you want to break up with her or not? Why is she crying so much?
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