A
female
age
51-59,
*ugar1973us
writes:I have recently been trying to get over a breakup. I have been very sensitive emotionally. My emotions become intensified when I am around my older sister. She has a relationship now with a guy who she is in love with. She thinks this may be the One for her. The issue is that she shares details with me about the relationship that are too personal--She shows me love notes he writes to her, she calls him while I'm sitting with her, and she goes on and on about how they cuddle and the songs he sings to her, etc. etc. I know people will say, it's natural to feel jealous sometimes in my position, but is it okay to tell her to not be so open about it? The last time we met, I ended up in tears--I couldn't hold them back. She said that I just have to deal with it, she's not going to stop talking about her happiness. She said she felt I was "dissing" her for asking her to be more sensitive about my emotions. She had a previous bad relationship--now that this one is good she's going to talk about it freely. I feel better when I'm not around her, but she says that she can only talk to me because she feels there is no one else in the family to talk to. She says everyone else is too judgemental. She's been with him over a year and hasn't introduced him to anyone yet. She doesn't have other friends she can talk to. I can't live on another planet to avoid her. I just want to know what is the best way to heal when dealing with her.
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female
reader, sugar1973us +, writes (5 September 2009):
sugar1973us is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for the advice. It is greatly appreciated. I think was resounds the most is taking care of myself first. Too often I think about giving my energy away even during vulnerable times. I will work on making myself stronger and healing my emotions. Thank you and blessings to you too.
A
female
reader, aisforacting +, writes (4 September 2009):
 Go out meet new people. Do something you like. Hang out with friends. Have a girls day with your closest friends and have a sleepover.
You will find the right person. Just be patient and be supportive of her relationship.
Goodluck!
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A
female
reader, devastated2008 +, writes (4 September 2009):
 I understand your plight and your pain. As much as you love her and want to be there for her you need to limit your contact with her for now. Maybe not completely but to briefer lengths of time.Your pain is the priority right now for you. She is happy she may want to share that but she has him. You need to take care of yourself first... and then decide how much you can allot of yourself to her. You are not being selfish... you are injured and trying to recover and heal. Suggestions for healing- get physical exercise, especially before and after visiting with sister, a punching bag would be great and vent all those emotions no matter how hurt, angry or nasty.talk to several friends so that you don't overwhelm one person with your needinessanswer questions on this site- helps to feel that your pain is useful and meaningful also helps you reframe your problems and see them from new angleshave fun- go out and do things, let others know you want to do things, then go even when you don't feel like it- music is a great uplifterget a haircut or makeover and wear sexy underwear and clothes for you - so that YOU feel goodpray, prayer really can help... God can listen and he never will reject you or get tired of listenign, ask and He will provide you what you NEED... comfort, help, whatever... ask then trustAnd lastly, I will pray for you ... God Bless you.
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