A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've always felt like a bit of an oddball. At school i used to be the one sat to the side, not talking much- not that i didn't want to, but the things i said either sounded really pointless or i would mentally kick myself for attempting to join the conversation when it was obvious noone really wanted my input. Coming to university has changed this a little and i have met some people who i like but i still have this thing in my mind that im not worth anyone's bother. I tried so hard at the beginning or term to try to fit in but now it just seems like im back to my old ways. I would rather stay in to watch a movie or have a good natter but university life is all about the going out and getting drunk and always being hung over. It's really not my scene and can't make myself enjoy it which just multiplies my odd ball-ness. I feel so lonely and just wish i could be comfortable with who i am and those around me.I have also always been very envious of my sister; beautiful, amazing grades, great supportive boyfriend and it seems to be interferring with our relationship.I suppose what i'm asking is how to do like yourself more? How to give myself that extra mental push to get myself moving and get the grades i want and be satisfied with who i am rather than looking at the mirror who appears to be a stranger? Please, any enlightenment is appreciated.
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male
reader, faenon  +, writes (21 January 2011):
 It starts by accepting yourself for being you not every male either enjoys boozing up every night of the week in fact theres a few of us around who prefer a lady with intellect and who doesnt mind being at home for chat and a movie we grow out of that 18-21 mindset where getting plastered is fun.
Best approach is to learn to accept you cannot please everyone regardless of how often you try and stop putting yourself down as a oddball if the crowd you hang with aren't making you happy to be around due to their loutish drunkard nature then move on and find a group of friends who are of similar nature and mind to you then you'll start to find yourself feeling better within yourself.
A
male
reader, CJH +, writes (21 January 2011):
 For starters, you need to stop looking around at everybody else and thinking "they're normal" - after all, what's normal? You want to be like one of the crowd and throw away your individuality?That's what makes you unique - regardless of whether or not you like who you are, you are special and you don't deserve this constant self criticism.After so many years of torturing yourself, it's going to be difficult to turn things around but, it can be done, there is no magic formula other than making a conscious decision to appreciate who and what you are. The irony here is that the minute you start valuing yourself, others will value you also!The fact you notice the differences in you and your tastes is one he'll of a positive. Most people do just follow the crowd like sheep. Doing what they think they are expected to do. Liking the music, fashion and activities that they think they should like.You need to revel in the differences you see between you and the average person. Life is way too short to go blindly following the crowd and certainly way too short to spend disliking yourself simply because YOU know your own mind.From where I'm sat, your question sticks out a mile from the same old same old problems. The truth is you are amazing and you do strike me as somebody worth knowing. Trust me on this please. Stop trying to be somebody else and start loving yourself and your uniqueness - others will follow - oddly enough they probably all want to be just like you.....Life is for living - this is your life - live it your way, make excuses for that and have no regrets.
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