A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How soon is too soon to sleep with someone that your dating?? Iv been single for a couple of years and im still none the wiser! Iv done the first date (yes even I know thats too soon, the 5thd date and the 2 month mark but just cant seem to get it right) Also I dont know if anyone else feels the same but if there is no kiss on the first date then its a deal breaker same goes if the first kiss is awful. There should be some chemistry from the start....right??? Dont get me wrong iv been in two long term retaltionships and have only slept with 3 other people all of which iv liked so im not a slut but do i have a warped view of sex? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2008): It is really, up to you and how comfortable you feel with the guy. You may have had a fantastic conversation before hand, got a good idea of who they are, have tremendous sexual chemistry and just think they are right. I used to be like be like that. I thought I could not sleep with a guy on the first night as the guy would just view me as cheap and easy and never ever want to go out with me and dump me straight afterwards. So I held off doing this for many years thinking if I held out they would respect me more and want me more. It did not work. Then I meet this guy and just could not help it. Yes, slept with him on the first night. The sexual chemistry between us was amazing and we also had a great conversation before hand too. He did not view me as cheap and easy, in fact we are still seeing each other and it has been 6 months. But, yes you have to be careful and if you feel uncomfortable then don't do it. My moto now is you do not feel like sleeping them pretty soon after you meet you probably never will. Don't let anyone make you think you are cheap and easy if you do, as high sexual chemistry is good for a relationship, unless you would prefer a relationship with no sex. It is up to you.
A
female
reader, PsyCookie  +, writes (28 August 2008):
 It's only right to have sex in the first date if the only thing you want is to have sex.
But if you want a more serious relationship, sex should be postponed. Yes, like the other poster said, sex on the first date won't scare another man, BUT he will most likely deem you easy and probably not worth the relationship.
So if you want just sex, it doesn't matter when it is too soon, and just enjoy the thrill. There's nothing wrong with a woman who enjoys this as long as you don't do it with just anyone and keep your dignity.
But if you want a more serious relationship, it would be best to hold sex for a while, until at least you know him well and there's a connection past lust. Sometimes waiting this carnal connection in a relationship makes it stronger.
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A
female
reader, starismine1 +, writes (28 August 2008):
 Women shouldn't believe in rules about when it's too soon to sleep with a guy. In my opinion, it's never too soon unless you believe it is. You can have sex on the first date and not scare a guy off, if you do it for your own fulfillment and not out of wanting to be wanted by him. And there is no such thing as being a slut, only people who believe sluts exist, its all a state of mind. Give yourself permission to enjoy sex when you want to whenever you want to for the reason of your well deserved self fulfillment, and to experience esexual intimacy as an expression of love. Only good can happen in a relationship when you experience sexual intimacy for your own true gratification and fulfillment, and not to manipulate a guy into wanting you.
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