A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm not sure what to do about my relationship. One of my boyfriend's friends told me that my boyfriend told him that he thinks the world of me, but he feels ashamed because he doesnt have much money. His hours were cut down at work recently. Things were ok up until last week. I saw him on Thursday, and he said he would ring me on Friday, but he didn't. I tried to call him on Saturday, and sometimes, his phone went straight to voicemail, and other times, it rang then went to voicemail, so i'm assuming he switched his phone on and off, maybe because he didn't want to talk to me. I sent him a text on sunday, asking him to let me know how he was, as i was worried about him. He text me today telling me not to worry about him, and said he cant do anything about his situation just yet, and said he need another job and he needs tiem to sort his head out. He also apologised for not contacting me sooner. He said that a few hours ago, and i didnt respond.he sent me another text just now, asking if i am ignoring him. I'm not sure whether to text him back and say i'm not ignoring him, and its just that he asked for space, so i am giving it to him, and tell him to contact me when he feels ready, and that i wont contact him in the mean time, and maybe say that i am angry and that he should have told me this sooner, or should i not respond at all and see what happens ?. Do you think this is his way of telling me that he doesnt want to be in a relationship with me anymore, or do you think there is still hope ?. I know i could ask him that, but i dont want to seem pushy. I also kind of feel like saying that he cant expect me to be at his beck and call when he hasnt contacted me for a while. But also, ifeel like saying that i feel bad about what he is going through. What should i do ?.
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female
reader, msnewbeginning  +, writes (26 April 2011):
 Some men are not comfortable with being broke. He may feel like that will lead you to another man. He may also feel bad if you want to go somewhere and he can't afford to take u! I really don't think its you, just the situation.
A
female
reader, Manya +, writes (26 April 2011):
Having read your update, I think you should meet with him. It sounds like he misses you! Just because he needs space doesn't mean that you should never see each other.
This would be a good opportunity to communicate in person and figure out what is happening between you and how you both can deal with and/or improve things! Text messaging is not really the way to handle such complex issues. You can tell him in person that you thought he was avoiding you earlier by turning off his phone - maybe it was something else that had nothing to do with anything. Sounds like he was anxious about you, similarly, when he was texting you twice!
I hope he knows that losing some work hours doesn't affect your feelings for him - he should know you are trying to be supportive, but you need reassurance also. Manya
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A
female
reader, ihateseagulls +, writes (25 April 2011):
alot of people can often be ashamed of their money situation, and since his hours have been cut down, he could feel like he doesn't have enough money to be with you, or he could feel ashamed at how you would think of him now that his hours have been cut down. also if he has lost his job/ hours been cut, its very stressful for a person, and some people prefer to deal with it themselves instead of opening up, or talking about it. all i would say is to just let him know you are there to talk to, and that your not going. if you have further doubs about your relationship then i'd just talk to him over how you feel, its always best to sort your feelings out :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2011): Here's an update. i havent responded to him at all, and he sent another message asking if i want to see him tomorrow, then sent another message saying he is worried sick ( probably because i havent text him back ), and said he hopes he hasn't upset me too much, and said he is going to ring me tomorrow. What happened to him wanting space ?!. And the funny thing is, now that he has suggested that we meet, i dont really feel like it yet.
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A
female
reader, MamaBear +, writes (25 April 2011):
Well, I think you sound pushy. When a person has work-related problems, this can be overwhelming, especially with less income. However, your boyfriend needs to learn to talk to you vs. his friend relaying info. Let him sort through his life and money woes. If you cannot give him space and time, then look elsewhere for a fellow!
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A
female
reader, lost_love_4_eva +, writes (25 April 2011):
listen honey, if he really loves you then he wants 2 get better so that he can do all he wants 2 4 u but u need 2 tell him that you want 2 talk 2 him sometimes during ur time apart and if he cab at least do that then there is hope bit if he can't it's time 2 question ur relationship
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