A
female
age
30-35,
*B2315
writes:I think there’s something going on between my mom and my husband !!I know this sounds impossible but it seems true !! And I want to get to the bottom of it but don't know how !! My mom's visiting us and it has been here for the past 2 months ! In that time my husband and mom got along sooo well that its making me cringe ! They got their own private jokes going on and they’re dirty as hell ! It seriously makes me cringe when I hear what they joke about!! They're always teasing each other and pinching each other (the pinching part never happens in front of me ) I just hear my mom shout .. "heyyy come look what your dirty husband is doing " by the time I come they're laughing and smiling and I’m like "what's going on " My mom is like .. "should I tell her what you were doing to me ?" I’m like to myself.. "WTF"!! Keep in mind my mom's already has had affairs with her own SISTER's husband!! My own best friend 's husband too!! So what's stopping her now ?? Plus, my husband just loves her company! He's always in her room n they're laughing and joking n having fun! It’s like they don't even need me ! I feel soo horrible about this? Is there any sure way of finding out about this ?? I know if I confront them it it’ll turn into a huge mess! No one will admit to it and I’ll look bad and will have to apologize! How do I find out the truth?? Please help guys! Please! This thing is eating me!!!
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affair, best friend, teasing Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Roboaxe +, writes (22 January 2017):
 Holy crap this sounds horrible! I would follow the advice the others have left. This is a terribly complex and bad situation, I seriously wish you well!
A
female
reader, ladybird5  +, writes (22 January 2017):
 two months is far too long for a mother to stay. she is interfering with your privacy and intruding on your relationship with your husband.
Pack her bags. Take away her key if you lent her the house key and book her flight.
Two months and she has almost move in. Now she is moving in on your husband as well. she has overstayed her welcome.
Your mother is on the make and your husband is in her sights. Time to show her the door because her actions are inappropriate.
She is your mother and so you need to address this with your mother. Otherwise your husband may get the wrong impression that you do not mind being the third wheel.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2017): Your mother seems to have a problem.
Make some plans to go away with just you and your husband. Let your husband know that you want some one on one time with your husband.
Re connect with your husband. Agree to turn off your phones while you are away.
And before you go away also give your mother her marching orders. She has been there long enough. She is a man-eater. She needs to find some other prey - not her own daughter's husband.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2017): Get a teeny tiny spy cam and put it in the kitchen and another in the dining room or wherever.Then pretend to read a magazine while they are carry out their flirtation.Review it when neither of them are around.But if you really think they are at it and mom has a history of butting in on family relations then get a private investigator to gather the evidence so you know where you stand.Too much mutual appreciation can get on your nerves but mom may only be pulling out the stops to be trendy.You could try calling her "Mrs Robinson" or "Mrs Whatever!"from the film The Graduate where the mom is busy bonking the lad because her hubby neglects her but he decides he prefers the daughter who oddly enough doesnt slap him in the face but runs off with him for a quickie wedding.I dont know why she didnt worry he'd want her daughter too because he seemed to be busy working his way down the generations.Fortunately there was no granny in the film.It was made before glamourous grannies started casting their eyes around the tadpoles for mates.In true Hollywood fashion it was considered a happy ending, but technically it could have been the early onset of dementia that brought about the inappropriate sexual behaviour on the older ladies part.Of course equality being what it is that might seem an outdated concept because 70 yr old men go for 20 yr olds or younger all the time so maybe it just is the way it is.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (21 January 2017):
 Neither your mother nor your husband are behaving well. Surely they must know you are uncomfortable with their inappropriate behaviour.
It sounds like your mother has no boundaries - even with her own daughter's husband. Your husband, however, should not be encouraging her and should have some sensitivity to your feelings.
In your shoes, I would, firstly, tell mother she has stayed long enough and needs to go so you and your husband can get your marriage back on track. After she has gone, I would tell hubby, in no uncertain terms, how badly he has behaved and how it has made you feel.
Sending HUGS because this is a really crap situation to be in. Stick up for yourself; you deserve better.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2017): Your mom has self esteem issues and a shit load of other emotional problems.The likely scenario is she knows she is old or getting old and losing her marketability to attract the opposite sex. No woman likes that, but especially a woman like your mother who has self esteem issues, and uses men to validate her attractiveness. That is why she has had so many affairs. Because she feels that stealing a man's husband away from his wife must mean she is one hot commodity. Makes her feel superior. In reality, she isn't. She ain't special. Most of them who are on side with cheating would cheat with just about anyone who gives them the opportunity. So, she ain't all that. In fact, far from it.For her to do this to her own daughter is taking it a step too far. This behaviour is not only disgusting and pathetic but it wreaks of utter desperation on your mother's part. I know you are young and do not have a great deal of life experience but let me tell you what you need to do here. Do it now and stick to it. It takes balls but there is no other way. Pack her bags, leave them at the door and tell her to get out. Her visit is over. Period. End of story.And once she's gone, sit your ass of a husband down and lay down the law. Tell him how idiotic and inappropriately he was acting with your OWN mother. How gross is that? Innocent flirting is one thing but blatant and sexually charged inappropriate banter between a mother-in-law and her son-in-law is well beyond crossing boundaries. And you have every reason to be angry and upset with him. He should have shut her down; closed the door on her ridiculous advances. I suspect she is the instigator. So, he has clearly disrespected you and your marriage. Does he think because the banter is with your mother, it is okay? What planet is he living on? It is, in fact, WORSE that it's your own MOTHER!Honestly, for me, this would be a deal breaker. If he is capable of this kind of behaviour with your own mother, then he is capable of this kind of behaviour with OTHER WOMEN too.They are both DISGUSTING.I would kick them both OUT!But start with mother.They made their bed. (Hopefully they don't sleep in it!) You are still in the early phases of pre physical contact, so that means you can stop this before it becomes something more. And trust me, your mother would not think twice about taking your husband to bed. Listen to a lady whose been around a little longer.You could argue, but she's my mother. And I would say she isn't any kind of a mother to you. In fact you don't need a mother like that.If anything you will be teaching her a lesson. To stay away from your husband. And behave appropriately for a woman who is likely a grandmother's age. She will probably come crawling back, realizing you won't take her shit. And if she wants a relationship with her daughter, she had better smarten the fuck up!If you stand back and not say a thing, they will continue doing what they are doing - there are no repercussions - and it WILL escalate to sex at some point. Cause this woman takes no prisoners!!! She doesn't give a shit whose husband she bangs. Her past is the proof. What more do you need? Want to wait around and see for yourself? Or do you want to eliminate the problem by kicking her out NOW? The longer she stays there, the more dangerous she becomes. Trust me.I wish you well. You do not deserve any of this!!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (21 January 2017):
 Yep time for mom to pack her bags, visiting time is over. She has over-stayed her welcome besides her behavior 2 MONTHS is still way too long for a "visit". Unless she, God forbid, has permanently moved in. If she has a home tell her you would appreciate her going back to it.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (21 January 2017):
 Maybe it's time for your mom to leave?
Thre might not be anything going on except inappropriate banter between your him and husband. Given her history, my guess is, that she is jealous of you and thus stirring up drama. She KNOWS that YOU know about her past. SO the more SHE flirts, the more "uptight" you act and feel - the "better" she thinks SHE looks in your husband's eyes.
A mom competing with her daughter? It's kind of sick. But I think this is who she is. She did both her sister's husband AND YOUR best friend's husband? She REALLY is competing against you. Alienating best friends and trying to "muscle" in on your husband...
I think she DOES want you to say something or bring up doubt because that will VALIDATE her. YOUR mom is EXCLUDING you from the "fun" on purpose. Because? She is jealous of you and sees you as competition.
DO you trust your husband to keep his hands off your mom? IF so, tell your mom that it's time for her to leave. And AFTER she has left, you sit your husband down and explain how HER behavior and HER past makes you feel UNCOMFORTABLE with HIS behavior as well.
Did your mom marry or have kids very young? IF so, she might feel she has missed out on a lot. She WANTS to be that young fun attractive woman which is why she goes AFTER the husbands of younger women.
My guess is that she will resort to texting INSANELY much with your husband after she leaves. She doesn't want to lose the attention he has been giving her.
You mom sounds like a complete twat.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (21 January 2017):
 Wow...your mom sounds like a real man eater. I agree with WiseOwl..sit them down and talk to both of them. Do it calmly, try not to get emotional. If they laugh at you say "I really don't find this funny or amusing and with your past record mom, I can't help but wonder what is the deal?" Also your mom has overstayed her welcome...its fine for you to ask her to leave. If they ridicule you..I'd honestly think about giving both of them the boot! Its honestly not normal for how the two of them are behaving and I don't blame you one bit for being unnerved. I could never in a million years imagine my sister or mother acting that way with my husband.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2017): She's had affairs with your sisters husband and your best friends husband? WTF? The answer is nothing will stop her from attempting the same with yours I'm afraid... what kind of mother is this? You are right to be suspicious- have you talked to your husband ? Does he know her behaviour in the past towards your sister and best friends men? I'm sorry, but what an appalling woman she is. Start bringing up when this cookoo in the nest is to move out and tell your husband how you feel and why! It's eating you up because you know what she's capable of give the chance. Time she left and if your husband carries on like this, I'd be just as suspicious
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2017): Sit them both down in-front of you. Be calm and assertive. Tell them they're both making you feel very uncomfortable and their behavior seems a little off for a son-in-law and mother-in-law. Tell them it's inappropriate for them to be exchanging dirty jokes; and if you ever catch them doing anything out-of-line, she's out of your life and he is too.
Kick her out. Her past is enough. Supervised visits only.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2017): Ask your husband one on one.
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