A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don't know why I am SO anxious to have a boyfriend. It's driving me crazy.Okay, so, I'm 21 years old. I'm in the nursing program studying to become an RN. I'm very busy all the time now. I have only ever had ONE relationship when I was 19 years old and it only lasted for a meager month because I was just too different from him.Now, I've been on several other dates and I did not feel that I connected with any of those other guys since then. However, I recently went on a date with another guy whom I was attracted to both his looks and his personality. I felt I connected with him but he did not really feel the same about me.Please help... how do I just STOP worrying about guys. I often feel that I'm not pretty enough or else interesting enough or else... anything. How on earth do you find someone you just CLICK with. It has never happened to me and I'm 21. I feel like I'm really behind here on boyfriends and such. It makes me feel sad and as if I'm either too picky or just not good enough on many levels. Does anyone have any words of encouragement? How to stop WORRYING about guys all the time? Please help :-( I am very troubled right now :'-( Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (20 January 2011):
 Meeting new people constantly.
Trial and error.
Patience.
Open-mindedness.
Yeh, not very helpful in its broadness, but really, its a search that takes time and effort, there's no doubt about it. There really is no way of telling if you click with someone until you've actually meet them and you can't sit around waiting for prince charming to fall into your lap... well you can, but it could take forever.
The less people you meet, the longer it'll take to find that special person who you click with... and who will "click" right back. So meet as many people you can, go to as many social events as you can, but most importantly... relax... and have fun. The more you can enjoy just meeting new people and being sociable for the sake of being sociable, the more likely you are to draw interest from guys around you. So try to not go out with the specific goal of finding someone special... it ironically and almost cruelly works against you.
At the end of the day you're still so young. You are in no way "behind", the race is long, but in the end- it's only with yourself, and you've got all the time in the world!! So relax :)
Good-luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): If you're not in it don't waste his time because eventually he will tire of it and the table will turn and you'll be all alone regretting you pushed him into another girls arms who outshines you and doing backhand flips off the empire state building won't even get you a blink from him.
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A
female
reader, Denissia  +, writes (20 January 2011):
 You're young,sure youre beautiful,you are just yearning. You will meet someone,you just havent met him yet,im sure he's coming into your life,until then have fun and enjoy@!
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A
male
reader, Azza  +, writes (20 January 2011):
You are still very young and have a lot of your life ahead of you, it's not a race or a competition either. There will be many men who you might like and they simply don't feel the same about you, but then it work's both ways. Don't get phased by the men who are not interested in you, it's not nice to be rejected, but it does not mean you are not pretty. Some people just have nothing in common and the only way you will beat that is keep putting yourself out there with your head up and confident. I think everyone is a little picky, because attraction is a factor no matter what people say.
You seem to be focused on your career as well, which is only a good thing and things will fall into place for you eventually.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): I understand completely. I was worried about being "behind" for such a long time that it affected my attitude and made me so negative. When I finally quit obsessing many opportunities came up (maybe they were there all along and I had been oblivious). You honestly won't know when you're going to meet somebody you just click with. It just happens. As for being picky, that's much better than desperation or having no standards at all. You won't be as likely to have a broken heart. You ARE good enough, but relationships take effort and patience. Keep going on casual dates and perhaps something will present itself. Good luck :)
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