A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay so here's the thing. I'm 14 and me and my boyfriend have had sex a couple times and done everything else exept anal. well we tried once and he couldn't get it in. He wants to try it again but when he first tried he said my ass hole is really tight. The head barley made it in and it hurt quite a bit. All I wanna know is how much it hurt when it goes all the way and will i get used to it?
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female
reader, Monster1224  +, writes (13 October 2010):
well im your age and me and my boyfriend have done anal sex and it shouldnt hurt. u have already done viginal sex and it shoudl be easy. just use alot of lubricat or baby oil but dont use any of that if your doing it with a condom just buy lubricant made for comdoms.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2010): I'm 36 and the guy I'm with now likes anal. I've never tried it before, up until now. Yes it does hurt the first couple of times, but honestly it's an enjoyable pain(as strange as that might sound). You will get use to it, and the best bet is just try and relax as much as possible. He's into it&must say I am also now, I enjoy it and find alot of pleasure from it.
I wish you luck..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for the advice. You definetly made me think twice about it. I told my boyfriend that I didn't want to do it and he understood completely. I don't even think i want to try it anymore because I didn't even know About all the consiquences and bad things that can happen. Thanks again for your help. :)
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A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (3 March 2010):
 I would not advise you to participate in anal sex. Speaking from a medical stand point, there is much more likely of a chance for disease to spread simply due to the fact that the lining in there is VERY delicate. You could tear pretty easily if things aren't done "right". There isn't really a "right" way though because that tract was evolutionarily developed for excretion. You could also ruin the sphincters, causing some definite control issues later in life. Also at fourteen, you aren't fully developed yet.
I think that you need to step back and think about this for a second. There are full grown women who don't even participate in anal sex because of the reasons I stated above. Are you really responsible enough to make this decision right now? Anal can be VERY painful, and I'm sorry, but life isn't just one big porno. There are consequences to such actions. If you are really considering this, I don't think you are mature enough to have sex yet. Maybe you should calm down a bit, seeing as you are only fourteen, and start thinking about yourself instead of your boyfriend...who obviously isn't really considering you and your health as far as this matter is concerned.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2010): Ok, first off, as a mom, I will say, you are too young to be having sex of any kind. That said, anal sex is not for everyone and you shouldn't feel like you have to do it for any guy. I don't do it. Tried it, didn't like it, it always hurt and now I just "don't go there". AT ALL. If he can't understand that then he's not the right guy for you.
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (3 March 2010):
 "I enjoyed it just as much as him. So if it hurts, your are doing something wrong."
0R MAYBE BAG LADY, SHE'S NOT BLOODY FULLY GROWN YET....
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A
male
reader, Faraday +, writes (2 March 2010):
 Yes, "anonymous reader", I can: but don't take my word for it, ask any doctor.
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A
male
reader, KernowWarrior  +, writes (2 March 2010):
Hi as an experienced gay man I have to tell you that yes anal sex can hurt, but it doesn't have to! MOST IMPORTANTLY you really have to be ralaxed and comfortable with the idea, if your not relaxed you will be so tense it will feel like your being split apart! Use a water based lubricant both on his penis and in your anus,(KY jelly is very good and can be got at most drug stores/supermarkets)and use a condom (the latex will also help it slide). Get your anus used to being 'inserted' Your boyfriend can do this by inserting one finger, then as you relax two fingers and so on. His penis needs to be really hard, if its at all soft it will bend as it goes in and will hurt. I recondmend that for the first time, he lies on his back and you sit/lower yourself on him, you will have control and be able to decide how much and how fast it goes in.(He will need to resist the urge to thrust!) As it goes in, breath out, this will relax the muscles and allow easy entry. Once he has fully entered you and you have relaxed around him, you shouldn't feel any further discomfort.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2010): Hey Faraday, can you back up your statement that "many porn stars that have anal as their speciality, male and female, soon have to wear nappies"? I think that's a myth.
OTOH I do agree that you shouldn't have anal sex unless you want to and that there certainly are risks involved.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2010): I'm not gonna lie it is very painfull much more painfull than loosing your virginity.
The only way to make it easier is to go really slow and use a lot of lube. However it will still be really painfull.
After doin it a few times you will get used to it but I don't think it ever becomes painless.
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A
female
reader, BagLady +, writes (2 March 2010):
BTW-about the pain-I don't have pain while having anal sex, nor do I get the overwhelming sensation to poop. It did when we first tried, but when we took those steps I gave you...anal sex was painless and we could pick up the speed and I enjoyed it just as much as him. So if it hurts, your are doing something wrong.
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A
female
reader, BagLady +, writes (2 March 2010):
Even though you are too young to be this far, you are going to do what you are going to do. So at least here's the skinny so you don't seriously hurt yourself.
1)Poop 2-3 hours before and wash thoroughly back there.
2)Practice with yourself first so you know how it should be performed by your guy.
3)It may sound funny, but if he is bigger than the stuff that comes out of you butt-you need to practice with something closer to his size
4)After practicing you need to train your muscles to tighten and loosen so you maintain muscle control of your bowels and can control how you open for him.
5)Condom (helps it slip in better and reduces disease), with a lot of lube (you will need to apply this repeatedly several times during-and he has to go very very....hours later...very very slow. You need to be guiding him when to go and stop.
When he pushes you need to flex you butt like you are trying to poop (but not to the point where you are pushing him out)Like trying to let a silent fart out...every girl knows how to do that. Be prepared to adjust your body to an angle that is more comfortable (maybe use pillows...and a towel underneath with baby wipes nearby;)He needs to have good stroke control-not wild porno thrusting. The tempo needs to be slow rocking with short thrusts.
6) Missionary with you legs up a little (like in stir-ups) is good. It allows you to relax and puts you anus in a position similar to when you pooh so he is sliding straight in and not the sides which is really painful-and dangerous.
7) pooh is going to happen from time to time. you can douche, but it actually makes anal more likely to hurt because you rinse out the lube you body makes in your bowels.
8) after coitus go to the bathroom and try to poop and tighten your butt muscles.
9) if he doesn't cooperate...he doesn't get anal. Believe me...he will cooperate...unless he doesn't care about you and that's your red flag to dumping his ass...among the other obvious red flags you should have already.
Again, you are going too fast. I started out like you and future you will get screwed over by past you. I know as a 14yr old you have not mentally gained the ability to make judgments in the interest of your future while understanding the full complexity of each choice's consequence (you develop that around age 25 actually...surprise your brain is still growing...crazy huh)
But right now, since none of us are people you will look up to enough to actually follow our age gained advice (why not...it's like getting the cheat codes to getting what you want in life now...you could have it all if you only listened..you'll find this out in your twenties as you say D'oh!)I will give you the info you need in hopes you will not cause yourself more damage than you would without it. BTW-read the Book: Don't Be That Girl. It changed my life and wish I had it when I was 12. You will love it-just go to the book store and read a few pages if you don't believe me.
Good luck you foolish, adventurous, and daring young lady.
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A
male
reader, Faraday +, writes (2 March 2010):
Beware, young lady - you are doing too much, too quickly.
As has already been said, he must use a condom, not only to prevent the possible spread of disease but because the bacteria YOU have will do him no favours at all on his penis.
Please also consider this; many porn stars that have anal as their speciality, male and female, soon have to wear nappies due to incontinence as a result of slackened and ineffective sphincter muscles. I can't imagine that you really want that?
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (2 March 2010):
sigh.. you done everything already at 14, what are you going to do for the next 60years?
Anal sex can sometimes leave you bleeding, it's easy to pass infections to your vagina if your not careful. Many women find it very hurtful, and you may find that for days afterwards you have problems passing stools.
I'm 40 and I don't know enough about this advanced sexual practice to give you any guidance.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (2 March 2010):
 This is something that you should only do if YOU want to do it. It is NOT something that "everybody" does.
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (2 March 2010):
At 14 you need to wait- this is advanced stuff, and 99.9% of the guys at this age are NO WHERE NEAR MATURE enough to handle it. They can cause you serious injury if they're not considerate. You should wait a few years and advance to this act then.
Anal sex can be great- but it takes time, thoughtfulness and serious consideration for the woman. If a guy gets too aggressive you will not enjoy it, if you can't relax 100%, there's no way you're going to enjoy it. Bad anal is 1000 times worse than bad vaginal sex. Done right it's amazing, wrong a terror....
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A
female
reader, HefferLynn +, writes (2 March 2010):
 it hurts like crazy.ive been through it a couple of times but when it finally went and he was moving it a lil bit i kinda got used to it. so it does hurt and yu will get used to it
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