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How much does fat matter during sex?

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Question - (1 August 2013) 8 Answers - (Newest, 2 August 2013)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

So! I'm going to fool around with a really good guy friend this Friday, problem is he is super skinny and I've got about 30lbs on this guy. We are of the same height. I always wear baggy clothes (I have an eating disorder and I've always been self-conscious). I always say I'm fat to which he answers honestly, "you always wear baggy clothes so I can't tell if you are or not." I was wondering how much guys tend to care about that sort of thing before, during, and after fooling around/sex? I've had injuries which has taken me out of martial arts for a while so I've gained some, but I'm working out again and I'm losing. He seems like he likes girls that are more fit... Should I wait to fool around with him? I don't want to give him a bad physical impression. I'm so nervous and excited.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2013):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hello again! This is the question-asker-person. I've been thinking about this ordeal a lot, and well, I feel like I shouldn't "fool around" with him. I do want him to see me in a more romantic way, and I hear kissing creates intimacy. Would it be alright if we just cuddled and made out a little? We made out a little on New Years. We weren't weird about it afterwards, in fact we bring it up frequently to reminisce and laugh about it. Let me know this one last thing, please. The party is tonight. Thanks everyone, for all your advice.

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A female reader, theres_always_a_loophole United States +, writes (1 August 2013):

theres_always_a_loophole agony auntYou answered your own question when you said he seems to like girls who are fit. So it's certainly possible he'll be put off by your extra weight. If you're willing to take that chance, go ahead and mess around with him. If not, then wait until you lose some more pounds. I also tend to think guys aren't always truthful in their answers to women's insecurity questions. So just because he might say a few extra pounds won't make him less attracted to you than a fit girl doesn't mean it's the truth.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2013):

If he normally likes more fit women, then you know what you have to do. Either keep losing weight, or move on to a guy who prefers women with a little meat on their bones. Either way, if you want a relationship with him don't start fooling around with him now. You risk it turning into a FWB. If you're okay with that, then proceed with your plans. Even if he thinks you're a little chubby, he obviously still finds you attractive, otherwise he wouldn't be wanting to fool around with you. He should also realize you can always lose the weight if it really bothers him. So hopefully he won't judge you for it, even if he does have a preference for slimmer women.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2013):

Its a tad odd that you have planned this encounter but since you asked about if a guy cares or not about body Im going to say no. When its a no strings attached ordeal guys are usually just in it to get some and not about picking out flaws. Your insecurities however could ruin yournight . If you are only thinking about what you look like you won't be able to relax and have fun.

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A female reader, Madalo 1 Malawi +, writes (1 August 2013):

You seem to be too stressed about this. Are you sure you're ready? Dont let yourself be overtaken by your anxieties that in the end you'll fail to enjoy the moment because you care too much what he thinks.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (1 August 2013):

All guys are different, so the only way to answer this question is to point out that he probably knows and he's still with you.

Women seem to think that loose clothes hide their fat, but they usually don't. Sometimes it makes it worse.

I personally don't have any problem with a few extra pounds as long as it's proportionate. Even if it's not it's not really a deal breaker.

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A female reader, MsSadie United States +, writes (1 August 2013):

MsSadie agony auntI'd wait until your confidence is higher, unless you think you can rock it without inhibitions as you are now. If that's the case, go for it!

P.S. Stop wearing baggy clothes. People know that you're hiding fat when you dress like that. Plus, it's totally unflattering.

P.P.S. I always think it's weird when people plan to fool around in advance. I think of that as something that happens somewhat spontaneously.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (1 August 2013):

eyeswideopen agony aunt"Fooling Around"??? That won't make a fool out of YOU will it? I would wait to fool around with him if I were you.

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