A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my fiance are together now for almost 8 years we have 2 boys together as far as I know him he is watching porn and keep on denying it, I cought him 4 times already having phonesex with other woman, he keeps on saying he will never cheat on me and will stop doiing all the shit he is doiing can I believe him?
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fiance, phone sex, porn Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2013): I've dumped two or three people for watching porn when dating me. I don't care what people have to say about it. It is very close to cheating.
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female
reader, Scotlass65  +, writes (3 August 2013):
 Nothing wrong with porn, but I'd draw the line at phone sex its a form of mental cheating, he obviously has no respect whatsoever for you to go this far
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2013): Hi, the problem here is if he does stop it's only because you've told him to. Same with my ex boyfriend. They should stop on their own. I've had so many problems with cheating and porn that making sure I find out someone's sexual habits are my priorities now.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2013): Thanx for all the answers, and yes our sex live isn't the way it used to be after my sons I get the most painfull pains during and after sex, yes I tried spicing up the bedroom but it only last for 3 days.I am not sure if I want to get married he is pushing we should but I feel in my heart that I don't want to, I know the best thing is to take my bags and go I consider it a lot but I love him with all, my oldest boy is 3 me and his dad is his world if we just argue infront of him he gets upset how must I seperate him from his dad.I used to believe he will change but now I'm so scared of him chating and cheating because the girls he was having phonesex are not even attractive and some a few years older, I keep on discovering porn sites and he keeps on promising it wasn't him no if it wasn't me it can only be him but he keeps on saying he promises it wasn't him. He knows the one thing I want from him is honesty why do he tells me he loves me and want to spent the rest of his life with me but then he hurts me and lies to me
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female
reader, cgrlygo  +, writes (1 August 2013):
 well I have discovered that cheating varies on different levels...what I may see as cheating you may not.. and vice versa.. you get my drift. But the real deal is.. what can YOU deal with? where is your line? My line is no contact (in depth contact) with exes... no if ands or butts about it... that's the deal breaker. But porn is fine.. in fact we went together to pick out movies for both of us. what can you deal with?? can you cope with porn or does it make you too insecure (which is fine) .. the phone sex thing would be a deal breaker for me..is there any way you can compromise through this? can you find away to increase the sexual connection between you two? because to me.. that's what it sounds like is wrong...I think what you need to do is sit and talk tell him how the phone thing makes you feel ... and a word to the wise... the more you accuse him of going to cheat... one day he may just get tired of being accused and do it.
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female
reader, theres_always_a_loophole +, writes (1 August 2013):
 Sorry, I have to disagree with the poster who said he's not a cheater. A lot of people, both men and women would consider phone sex cheating. Why? Because you're INTERACTING with another person sexually, even if it's not in person. Why is that better? Just because you can't get an STD this way? That's the only reason I can come up with of why it would be considered better. And to me, that's not a good enough reason. Obviously, the OP has a problem with this yet her fiance continues to do it. If nothing else, this means he has a complete lack of regard for her feelings, and doesn't care about anything besides what he wants. No, this is not normal "being a guy" behavior. It makes my blood boil that any man would try and paint this ugly picture of men to justify this type of behavior as "every guy does it" so women will accept it. There are plenty of men who don't do this, and would consider it cheating.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2013): If a man in a relationship is watching porn and having phone sex darling then that means they are not sexually satisfied with the woman they are with.Now what you need to see is the bigger picture, he is not satisfied with your sex life, therefore marriage is out of the question. You will jut be ruining your life see you may think to excite or spice up the bedroom department but how long for? If it is happening when you are thinking of marrying each other. What will he do after your married, will you be able to tolerate it during your marriage if so then you would have not come on here. You are hurt and know deep down the right thing to do, this man can not be trusted.It is cheating cause he is aroused by other women, whether he is not physically touching them he is daydreaming wishing it was them women sharing his bed.You know what they say "Better Late Than Never" You have seen his true colours,let go I know as easy as it sounds but time is a healer. Be with someone worthy of marriage! Who will not need to look to porn and phone sex with other women to excite themselves it is desperate and for those men who are not sexually satisfied.
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female
reader, angel91 +, writes (1 August 2013):
What is your definition of cheating?
In my eyes, phone sex itself is cheating...
If you keep catching him out, it means he's not learning his lesson, and isn't worth your time
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (1 August 2013):
Well, if you define cheating as him having sex with another woman, then he very well may be having phone sex and watching porn as a way to satisfy his cravings in a non-cheating way.
I can tell you one thing: there's no way in he'll I'd marry a woman who did that to me, and I don't think you should marry him until you trust him.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (1 August 2013):
 We guys use an exquisite logic to define "cheating".... which results in this "definition":
Cheating; the resultant description of what a man must 'fess up to WHEN HE IS CAUGHT IN BED - IN FLAGRANTE DILECTO - with his tart. ALL ELSE that he does, up to and including that final penetration in to her womanhood, is NOT "cheating".. it is "being a guy"....
Hope this helps clarify the matter for you...
Good luck with your non-cheating hubby.....
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