A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone!I was wondering if any of you could tell me how long one should wait to have sex in a relationship. For those who are wondering it's been around 6 months and we're both virgins!thanks in advance!
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female
reader, Fiona xxx  +, writes (5 June 2008):
 Many people say there is no set time. It has to feel right like you have known eachother a while. So you know it isn't just about the sex etc.
You sound like you must be ready by now, after all 6 months is ages. For my first I was with the guy for 2 months, and I have to say he tried it on a lot first. We only went out for 6 months in the end.
It is a refreshing change to heer a guy concerned about this issue.
Of course, please use a condom.
In my life I don't think we talked about it. He just asked if I would, and I said yeah at some point, but I am not ready yet.
You would probably feel very fond of and close to eachother by now. Do you love eachother?
You two are obviously very patient!
Although I can see how it would take longer if you are both virgins.
You don't mention any no sex before marriage morals. If not then why not go for it. Otherwise head what the others said.
A
female
reader, deejuliet +, writes (10 April 2008):
 Personally I think that the younger you are and the more inexperienced you are, the longer you should wait. Before losing your virginity to anyone I think you should be with them for at least a year.
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A
female
reader, Guru1  +, writes (10 April 2008):
It depends on a few things. Firstly, how old you are. Whether you are male or female and what are you expecting from the experience and the relationship. If you deeply care about someone I'd say wait long enough to establish a good relationship with love, caring etc...If you are female try to determine what the male wants from the relationship or you could get hurt. Men do have the ability to detach love from sex. Women get hurt when they believe one story only to find out they were used. If you just want to get physical go for it but use a condom.
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A
female
reader, happytochat +, writes (10 April 2008):
There is no right or wrong answer here really as it really comes down to each individual situation.
However, generally, in my opinion, I would say the following are the main things you should consider:
-You have to consider things such as how well do you know each other? Do you feel you know your bf well enough that he is being his true self? Do you feel you are your trueself around him?
-Do you feel respected by your bf in your relationship?
-Are you both in love? My personal beleif is that sex should be saved for when you are in a loving commited relationship. If you are in love that doesnt mean you have to have sex though.
-Do you both trust each other? Do you trust your partner to respect you limits about what you do and dont want to do?
-Do you feel you can say no to your bf? If not, then this suggests you may feel pressurd or forced into it, which isnt a good thing at all.
-Have you talked about sex to your partner? I think talking about it is really important and if you dont feel comfortable talking about it, doing it probably isnt a good idea. Talking about it doesnt mean you have to say ok we will do it tomorrow or on such and such date. What I mean is share your values, beleifs and ideas about sex. Also discuss what ways you will protect yourself from STDS and pregnancy.
-Finally ask yourself WHY you want to have sex. Make sure you are doing it for the right reasons. Dont be doing it for a reason such as everyone else is doing it, or because you want to 'prove your love' or because you fear your bf will break up with you if you dont do it.
You may also want to consider how you will feel if you and your bf have sex and then break up sometime after. Will you be ok with the fact that you will then probably have more then one sexual partner in your life? You wont be able to save yourself for marriage then, which is ok, but its something you may want to think about because once you make that decision, you cant take it back.
Hope this has helped!
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A
male
reader, a husband +, writes (10 April 2008):
Speaking from personal experience, waiting until marriage was the best thing my wife and I did. There are a lot of ingredients that make our sex life incredible, but one big one is knowing that she chose to wait for me. And hearing her say that I am the only man she's ever loved and ever will love makes me want to explode with excitement.
Though you are both virgins now, you may be stealing from the intimacy in future relationships. It may sound impossible, but if you leave sex for marriage, you WILL NOT be disappointed.
A Husband
www.iamhusband.com
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (10 April 2008):
 Actually, in all my years I've rarely "talked" much about having sex before it just happened. Maybe some conversation would occur with a girlfriend that revealed that I was open whenever she was ready, but there was rarely if ever any plan or discussion as a prelude. We would usually just embrace with deep, sensual kissing one enjoyable evening, followed by no lack of groping and such - which would lead to the bedroom. It can happen fairly quickly, like about three or four dates, and perhaps it may require months or years for some (not me, not enough patience). Regardless, I usually just give the relationship my best if I'm interested and allow the woman to signal when the time has arrived. When she allows you to reach down and caress her private area, you are either very close or you have arrived. That's when you start unbuttoning and unzipping.
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A
female
reader, MissKin +, writes (10 April 2008):
 You wait until your relationship is ready. There's no set 'standard bar' of time for this. It's a choice made between two couples. for some it happens really soon. for others, they wait a long time. and some people wait for marriage.
I think it's best to talk to your partner about this. Ask when they think you should move onto sex. the more open you can be about how ready you are for new and different things. the better.
This is your choice to make. no one else can really tell you what to do.
I waited for.. three months before i slept with my boyfriend (We were both virgins) but my friend has been in a relationship for eight months and still hasn't slept with his girlfriend. So i dont know. it's individual.
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