A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How long do you think you should be in a relationship for before proposing? I've been with my girlfriend for five years and it's been fantastic apart from the occasional row over nothing and her having a one night stand near the beginning of the relationship which i've now forgiven her for after we split up for two days (i missed her too much). I trust her totally and she hasn't cheated on me since. We moved in together three years ago. Anyway do you think that we have been together long enough for me to propose and for us to get engaged? We have mentioned having kids but not much about marriage. I would like to have my first child in wedlock rather than having kids then getting married. I've never been engaged or proposed before plus don't have any kids of my own. Neither does my girlfriend. I love her to bits and know that she loves me back. Also where should i propose and how? Thanks to any suggestions given.
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male
reader, Peterk5699 +, writes (16 May 2007):
 I'd think 5 years is enough. My dad got married to my mum after 3 and were together for about 7 years or so. I'm not sure for certain 'cause they divorced when I was just 4. My dad then met up stepmum (strangely enough it was the girl he fancied in school) and after 7 years he finally proposed. They'd been with each other for 6 or 7 years and finally tied the knot in 2001 and are still together.
So, yeah. I say go for it and make it romantic. In the summer by a flowing river or by candlelight.
But it's up to you when and how you propose, you know her best.
Good Luck!
A
female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (17 April 2007):
 I think this is a bit of an odd one. I dont think you can put a time limit on it, its up to the individual couple and how they feel and how things are going and what each person wants. I think if you really love someone, then it doesnt matter how long you wait, you will wait forever for the one you love right ? If you are meant to be then no matter how long you are together married or not, you will remain together.
That said, On the other side of the coin, I do know a couple of couples that have got married after about 10 or so years together, and then more or less straight away they broke up! Infact my partners uncle got married to his wife after 20yrs, then promptly ran off with someone else. Strange or what! lol
In summary you cant put a timeline on love, or life. Its all up to what you BOTH want.
I hope it all works out for you and you are both very happy.
How about waiting for the summer and taking her on a picnic and proposing out in the country somewhere nice near a waters edge or river, with nice calming water rippling around,in a nice relaxing atmosphere, the buzz of the bumlbe bees around, the birds tweeting away... something nice and chilled like that would be romantic...
All the best! x
Take care x
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A
female
reader, Enzian  +, writes (17 April 2007):
 I think a year or two can be not enough. You really should to get to know each other before you promise to spend the rest of the life together. And you should not get married as long as you are enamoured. Because as long as you are enamoured, you can not see clearly. Everything looks allright and you can not see the quirks of the otherone. For get to know them, you need some time. And when you know your partners quirks, you have to decide wether or not you can get along with them. Two years for this can be far under what you need for that. As long as you are still enamoured, you are not able to decide.
My boyfriends parents are marriage guidance counsellors and they say, most problemes in marriages do have couples which married to quick (under two years). So that tells me a lot.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (16 April 2007):
 Hey darlin',
Five years! Wow! Most couples don't wait that long (all though most couples probably should). That much time together, you should be able to tell if you guys would make good life partners or not.
If you love her and she loves you, and you want to marry her then BY ALL MEANS marry her. As for asking her... well, that is a tricker question. You can plan something really big and extravagant, or you can go simple and sweet. I'll bet she'll be happy either way - she's getting proposed to!!
If creativity is what you seek, I think it will be best if the idea comes from you. You know her best, so you can think of something really personal that she'll love.
Don't worry, sweetness. I say go for it!!
xxIndia
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A
female
reader, Girl14 +, writes (16 April 2007):
 Yeah im only 14, but give me a try.
First, she isnt going to sya anything about getting married, because she wouldnt want you to feel pushed as in a way its your job to propose.
Second,If Your concidering kids, you dont want her to think yor only proposing because shes pregnant or whatever! Trust me that may go through her mind.
Go For It!
And how...
Every girl had a dream wedding and how their love will propose to them.
So you could get one of her friends to try and fink out secretly (but one you can trust). As long as its romantic, and she loves you, anything will do.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (16 April 2007):
 Five years is a great time. You obviously know each other well enough and as you said, her little error of judgement at the beginning of the relationship is a forgivable offence.
If you love her, and you want to spend the rest of your life with her, go for it!
As for a proposal, I dont think she will care where you propose. If she loves you, she wont care, and she'll say yes!
Try a hot air balloon trip. My boyfriend proposed to me that way, and when youre a couple of hundred feet in the air, its damn hard to say no.
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A
female
reader, Enzian +, writes (16 April 2007):
There is now rule for how long you should wait. Some know it ver quick others want to really sure. For my opinion a couple should wait at least for a year or two, but better three or four years. So I would say five years are more than enough and you are in an age not running as quick into something like teenagers do. And if you already talk about having children, why not talking about getting married? If you are sure about her, but don't feel secure about gettin married, you two could go to a marriage preparation cours.
And I will break a secret to you: Lots of as women are expecting our boyfriend to propose. We like to be pursued and wooed by our boyfriend. I don't know if it is the same with your girlfriend. But maybe she is just waiting for you to ask her? And maybe that will be one of the biggest demonstration of your love to her. But before you two get married, I would recommend you to do some preparation for it. To get married brings a lot of responsibility. Do be in love with her is not enough. You realy have to want to make this woman happy and to want to stay with her for the rest of your life. Do you really want to give this promise to her?
Good luck and all the best!
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