A
female
age
26-29,
*issconfused101
writes:Hey everyone! I have been wanting an answer to this question for a while, so your opinion would mean a lot to me. :) I am 14 years old and have been dating boy for a year and a half now. He was very innocent at first which was very unexpected. He is a very well known guy and is highly attractive. Almost every girl would die to date him. I had already had my first kiss when we started dating, even my first make-out session at that. He on the other hand had not. This was a HUGE surprise for me! I was his first kiss and that made me feel more special. We hang out all of the time and whenever we are together we find a way to be alone and watch a movie or something. I started getting closer and closer to him. I love him so very much. We do make out and he does lift my shirt up and stuff which I happen to love. I feel guilty for wanting more, because it kinda makes me feel dirty. I do NOT want to have sex right now but temptations are ridiculous. Whenever we make-out, things always start to get heated more and he gets very touchy. But I like that I am his first girl to be so close to. I like that he waited until he found me because he could have any other girl. Now for my question. How far should a 14 year old go (sexually) in your opinion? I really do not want to have sex and I try to promise myself I won't, but I just don't honestly know. So please help me out. I really need it. I want to go further with him, is that a bad thing? Is there a way for me to stop wanting more from him every time I'm alone with him? Any help is greatly appreciated! Thanks so much! :) Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Oluogho Id  +, writes (18 October 2016):
I am a 20 yr old guy but am a virgin. Sex is not an easy thing to prevent, its not that i dont have a girlfriend or i dont see girls trying to tag around me. The trick is what you think about the most tries to control you the more. Prevent him from raising your skirts, spend more time in the library than with him. Why if you want to spend time with him, let it be in public places where you two cant get aroused at. Tag a friend along while visiting him, try escape places where you two will be alone at. Its my trick. Note I am even a university student, no parents or relations to control me while in session but i still manage to prevent having sex which i have never had neither do i even know how it feels like. Be wise dear, sex is a timed event, its pleasures last only a little while but its disasters can last forever.
A
male
reader, Learner.uk  +, writes (13 January 2011):
 having the thoughts is natural just remeber everything that has been said. All the best
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A
female
reader, curls-n-pearls +, writes (13 January 2011):
 Everyone has these thoughts as a teenager, its part of growing up!
All teenagers are curious from time to time and have the desire to experiment sexually.
Its just down to you to control them and be responsible.
Its perfectly normal :)
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A
female
reader, baby-blue-eyes +, writes (13 January 2011):
no its not wrong at around this age hormones are running wild atm trying to prepare you to have kids as long as its only thoughts and a bit of kissing i dont see the problem.
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A
female
reader, mami18 +, writes (13 January 2011):
 no its not nasty its part of purity and your body is doing a lot of changing and you body is gonna feel really different over the next few years but and you want to let your body go thru what its suppose to and take your time and try not to grow up to fast trust me honey stay a child as long as your can and enjoy it while you can trust me you can have fun without sex and stuff like that have a boyfriend but just keep sex out of the relionship
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A
female
reader, missconfused101 +, writes (13 January 2011):
missconfused101 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you for all of your advice! Now I am 100% that I am waiting on sex. Thanks so much. But one more question. Is it bad that I have these thoughts at such a young age? It is something that shouldn't even be crossing my mind and is it nasty? :)
Thanks so much!
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A
female
reader, mami18 +, writes (13 January 2011):
girl you are way to young to be havin sex or even thinkin bout sex your a little girl and thats all you should be honey you hasve your whole life ahead of you and u dont know if your gonna be with this boy for the rest of your life you want it to be with someone specail and always keep things safe you dont want stds or to be havong a baby at a young age trust me honey it is very hard and a lot of money to take of a baby and you dont want to live with something you'll have for the rest of you'r life you should wait till you'r older and understand the meaning of love and sex cuz that can and will changer you'r whole life just take things slow and be a kid wwell you can cuz when you grow up everything is all you so take you';e life slow and be a little girl well you still can
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A
female
reader, baby-blue-eyes +, writes (12 January 2011):
i went quite far when i was 14 but i didnt have sex i can honestly say it is my biggest regret i have .in fact i only have two regrets in the whole of my high school life and thats one of them i thought i was mature enough to handle it and he loved me it turned out i was wrong and after we broke up he told people. id be a hypocrite if i said dont do things but i think you need to think carefully about it and never mind in 14 years in 2 years you'll realise how immature you are right now
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2011): Don't pressure him into anything. When I was 14, my boyfriend kept asking me for sex, and to be honest, it made me dump him. I felt he was only being in a relationship with me for sex, so I broke up with him.
I lost my virginity at age 14, and I think that I was too young.
Right now, I'm 27, with a 2 year old daughter and very happily engaged to my future husband!
So the choice is yours, it's best when your parents know, incase they hear your or anything, oh and make sure you are on Birth Control if you do decide to have sex.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2011): Okay, first of all, I have to say it's very sweet that you were your bf's first kiss. As a 16 year old who is a virgin, I say that it's not smrt to have sex now. Wait till you're married!!! That way, youwon't look back when you're older and regret doing it so young. There are also risks like HIV, AIDS, and pregnancy, to name a few. If you or he don't want to have sex, then you should respect each other's opinion. And seriously, if you do have sex, PLEASE use condoms!
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A
female
reader, curls-n-pearls +, writes (12 January 2011):
My sister lost her virginity at 14. A year later she really regrets it. As a do a lot of teenagers who have sex too young.
There are many consequences to sex that you may not be ready for; not just pregnancy. Sex changes a relationship. Sometimes for the better but it can be for the worse.
I would say stick to 'over clothes' experiences. If you feel comfortable with him lifting up your shirt then thats up to you. I would say avoid the sexual experiences for now - however tempting it is!
:)
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A
male
reader, Learner.uk +, writes (12 January 2011):
Hi,Your 14 year's old trust me when I say you dont need to have sex at that age! I know I sound like a typical Adult but most 14/15yr old boy's dont know what they are doing,Please have a long think about things like: What would your parents say if they found out?What would they say if you got pregnant?Do you really want to end up staying in most eavinings with a child at the age of 14 when your life is just starting?Do you really think the Boyfriend will hang around?Your 14yrs old you really dont need this, enjoy life with your friends and have a laugh plenty of boys out there to meet later on in life...and after all of this if you do decide to do something use protection and get advise but have a long think about your future and the impact this could have on it!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2011): Hi, you're only 14, and you're doing the right thing as to not having sex yet. Don't do it, the consequences after it might change your life forever. Play it safe, like using your hands and I guess dry sex, but don't go all out, you're still so young. Be smart about these things. And any guy would say you're their first to get in your pants faster, true story. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, HopelessRomantic66 +, writes (12 January 2011):
As the mother of a 15-year-old girl and one who remembers what it was like to be 14, I can honestly say a 14-year-old has no business having sex at all. I'm not being mean or judgmental, but I'm speaking from life experience. Once you go down that road and complete the act, you are putting yourself at risk not only for emotional distress, but risk of diseases or pregnancy. That is a life truth whether you are 14 or 24.
Think about the consequences. What would you do right now if you found out you were pregnant? What do you want for your future? Are you 2 prepared to be parents? Do you see college in your future? Do you see a career in your future? What would your parents say? These makeout sessions may feel great at the moment, but the consequences could be great.
If you do choose to have sex, please use birth control. Don't trust him to say he'll pull out or be responsible. He may be a great guy, but take responsibility to protect yourself. Right now, you may feel like you are growing up, but 14 years from now when you are 28, you will realize just how much of a kid you still are yet.
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