A
male
age
30-35,
*wen Derick
writes:How does it feels having sex for the first time in your life as a teenager? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, daletom  +, writes (3 August 2010):
The physiological mechanics of sex, especially your first time, are well-documented here on this Forum - the question probably gets asked a couple times every month. There used to be an article by "satindesire" (and many of the side comments on that page) that was excellent! I'd call it a must-read for you and your B/F except that it has vanished from [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/thinking-about-losing-your-virginity.html ]. If somebody copied it, maybe they could repost it.
For the record, my wife and I were both 23 when we exchanged virginity (she took mine and I got hers in return) on our wedding night. The story, and how it felt to me, is in the thread "I'm a virgin and worried about my wedding night...", at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-a-virgin-and-worried-about-my-wedding.html ]. (Scroll down the thread to find my post.) Even though it was lousy sex, it was still very significant and meaningful to us! And despite that lousy first-time, we're still married - to each other - over 35 years later.
Other threads I contributed to include "How can I make my first time having sex enjoyable?" at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-can-i-make-my-first-time-having.html ] and, "I want to start having sex with him . . ." at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-want-to-start-having-sex-with-him.html ] (scroll down to find my response), and "He's a virgin, I'm not. How can I make it meaningful for him?" at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/hes-a-virgin-im-not--how-can.html ] and "Any stories about losing your virginity??" at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/any-stories-about-losing-your-virginity.html ].
Something we weren't prepared for was our emotional state immediately afterwards. I've read about this and talked to others, and the details vary WIDELY among people. (My wife & I were both sobbing, and pain wasn't the major cause.) The best I can say is that you need to be sensitive to each other, as well as yourselves, because you can do some emotional damage without even realizing it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2010): I am a girl!
Lost my virginity at age 13. (Young, young, young, too, too young. Yes.)
It hurt. It hurt so bad I was ready to cry. (For some reason, when I was near tears and crying: "owww" "Darling, stop." "Wait. Owww." "You're really hurting me." "That hurts" "Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow" He got turned on somehow and didn't stop.) That jerk. He thought that was such a turn-on and really, I was just a baby and I wanted to please him so I just laid there--enjoying nothing, while he fucked away! (Yes, I am bitter.)
If he had perhaps stopped and been more caring about how I was feeling, it would have been 100% more enjoyable, I assure you. Really, it was a horrible experience. I was bleeding. Blood was everywhere. I was crying when he was finished. He acted sympathetic, but honestly didn't think it was his fault. I was limping for a week. Like seriously. It was a horrible experience.
When I was 15, I had sex with my real first love. (Ahh, just the memory makes me blush!) I had honestly loved this kid since I was like 11. This was quite the moment. It was amazing. He was constantly asking me how I was. He was so gentle. So loving. He told me he loved me like 20 times. It was amazing. Oh dear.
But really, my first time was misery. Hell. Worst than that. I stayed with that same jerk though for nine months. I was such a little girl.
Sorry I've just relived years of my past with me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2010): I'm a girl, and it hurt. Lots. SOO BADLY. For a month or two it was pretty rough. Love it now though, at the age of 20 :P I started at 16. Always the same dude, still with him today and we are engaged.
For dudes it's supposed to be pretty great, though. Physically, at least. I've had a lot of guys come to me with regrets of their first sexual partner or situation.
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A
male
reader, Dr.LanceMerryweather  +, writes (2 August 2010):
 My first time was at age 15 and was the greatest feeling in the world. You may, however, experience an inexplicable feeling of wishing you were her first too. Just my experience, you understand.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (2 August 2010):
 Physically it feels good. Mentally and emotionally it can be a different story. I thought I was ready at 15. I learned pretty quickly that I wasn't. Heck, on some levels I'm still not, and that was half my life ago.
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A
male
reader, KingOfThron  +, writes (2 August 2010):
 Sex is an amazing thing, there is alot of feeling and love that can be apart of sex, and i think that you SHOULD care a lot or love them befor you start having sex, alot of people dont really listen to that fact, that caring for a person that your having sex with feels much better they just jump right into the sex part of it
But if you just want to know how sex it's self feel then, its great! there are alot of things that you can try and do with the other person, if its a girls first time be 100%! sure that your not hurting her, trust me showing you care about her first time well let her know that you want buth of you to enjoy it and she will start to look for it more then you think :P (if your doing it right)
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A
female
reader, kaydub18 +, writes (2 August 2010):
 Im 15 and lost my virginity last year. First let me just say , be careful, use condoms and some form of birth control.. I got pregnant at fourteen , only two weeks after i had started having sex. But not to answer your question, the first time is rough. It has been rough for me for the first few months. It hurts, its painful. But there truely is pleasure in it, but only if its with a person you truely love. Ive had sex with a guy i love and i guy i dont love and it means more and you feel better if its with someone you love. Hope I helped. (:
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A
female
reader, lollypopp +, writes (2 August 2010):
Well for me it was quite painful and very uncomfortable, but that's because I'm a girl. My boyfriend loved it and he had an orgasm and so far he has had an orgasm every time, whereas I haven't had one yet. I would say the first time is definitely better for the boy than the girl!
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