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female
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anonymous
writes: What do you do when you think your boyfriend's friend is going to come between you two? What do you do when you think that the friend will call you naggy and needy and stuff like that? As you will pretty much always be with your boyfriend and this guy will tag along too. What do you do when you think that this will lead to the friend telling your boyfriend to break up with you even though you and your boyfriend are planning to get engaged this summer? What do you do when you already know this friend will just be trouble and you want him out of the picture? I need some help. Please
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe is the best person to me when i am just with him. He is the best when he comes home from school to see me, about 5 hour drive. He lied to me for 4 months to be social with this bad influence. I forgave him for it but its hard to forget. I feel like i didn't have my guards up and shit happened. Now i refuse to let them down. My heart broke when trust was broken because of the lying. My boyfriend knows this and tells me that and promises it won't happen again. He also knows i don't like the friend much and was quite happy when the friend was supposed to move somewheres else. Then suddenly I was told that he was moving her and i don't know what to do. i don't trust this friend and i know he is a bad influence on my boyfriend. I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years. For more than a year no problems happened and no fighting. Since issues like this that always seem to invole the friend we have fought a lot more. It has almost got to the point of a break because of miss communication between us but we both don't want that. WE have this agreement that it won't ever get to that point but yet we keep on fighting. We want a future and this guy who just causes problems is moving here and causing problems. I am tired of this. I want him out, I was here before him and i will be after. I don't care if this friend hates me afterwards i just want him out. I need help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2006): In such a case, you can't force your boyfriend to quit his buddy, but you can certainly pack up and end things if your boyfriend has started lying to you. It may appear that he only does these things because of some 'bad influence', but if he can be lead astray so easily, it means that those things you don't like are still inside him somewhere, waiting to blossom. Consider that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI was there before him. All he has cause was problems between my bf and I. My bf took up smoking ocasionally to be social with him and kept it from me. Trust was broke and lies were started. I want him out of the town were we live. He is moving here to work for my bf's father but he is horrible at his job and has a bad personality. I need help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2006): This is usually hard to accept for people, but your boyfriend's friends are a part of his entire package. If you don't like him, start making an effort, because he will be around a while yet (maybe he was there before you!). It's pretty strident on anyone's part to try and come between a couple to the point of breaking up their engagement, so worry less about that and more about the day to day logistics of how you can get this guy on your side as well. Try and focus on what it is your boyfriend likes about this guy and go from there. No matter what, though, there is no way to excise him from your boyfriend, so start planning accordingly!
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