A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How do you regain confidence after a brush off?The guy I was seeing and I found ourselves at a work related event in which we didn't know anybody, it was only us from our company. So I sat with him (we had a friendly brake up, and were still speaking). We were chatting and even laughing through the first part of the event. Suddenly at break he stood up and left, then I went outside and went to get in line for refreshments, when he saw me and hesitated and it seemed as if he didn't know if he should get in line with me or go to the end of the line, and he went to the end of the line. I told him, are you seriously going to stay there? He looked at me straight in the eye and said "yes". I said, ok. I didn't think much of it, then I sat next to him at the table; when he was done eating he stood up and said, "alright I am going inside". When I was done I went inside again he was already sitting somewhere else next to some guy and there were no empty chairs around. I finally realized he was blowing me off. I just went and sat in the same place we had been sitting earlier where I had left my purse. I see this guy once or twice a week and unfortunately I still have feelings for him. I am really struggling to remain confident in front of him after this incident. Honestly I wish there was a way to make him feel bad about being such a jerk without actually telling him. I don't understand why he did this, he is generally very sweet, caring, and gentle. We were still on friendly terms. This really hurts, specially because a few weeks ago he admitted to me that he still had feelings for me. And even if he no longer feels anything, I am still struggling and I just want to regain my confidence and dignity. I really feel like crap!
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female
reader, SimpleOne  +, writes (31 August 2010):
The next time you are alone together you should say something. It could just be a sentence or two. Let him know he is being a jerk and that you deserve better treatment, especially in the professional arena. To tell you one thing then a few weeks later treat you like that shows that he is not ready for an adult relationship of any description and that you were right in your behaviour towards him. Make your self feel better and speak your truth. No harm in that and you'll retain your confidence, dignity and self-respect. Acknowledge to yourself his positives but acknowledge your own more.
Best Wishes,
SimpleOne
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (31 August 2010):
It's over between you, and he's just not comfortable with being around you. That's not your fault. That's just the way it is between ex's sometimes. I cut contact with my ex years ago, and the first time I saw her again I just wanted to crawl into a corner. It's not even worth trying to make him feel bad, because you'll just come across as the 'crazy ex'. You just have to accept that things between you are going nowhere anymore. That's not your fault or problem. It's just the way it is. You can feel better than him, because even though it was awkward, you stuck it out while he ran away.
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