A
female
age
36-40,
*eccamega
writes:How long do couples date usually before moving in together? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, meccamega +, writes (25 May 2011):
meccamega is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks I've never moved in with a bf before. I was dating someone over the summer and they already want to move in with me. The problem is he had to go back home, interstate. Its just bizarre I haven't known the guy long. And I don't like LDRs
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (24 May 2011):
 When you don't have to ask random strangers for advice on what should just feel right.
Since you ask, it is to soon.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (24 May 2011):
 Just a word of warning, keep the finances totally separate and documented. If you buy large ticket items together and down the road you guys have a falling out, it can be a real mess. Legally married couples have the law on their side, all you'll have is whatever the judge you pull in small claims court decides.
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A
male
reader, eek  +, writes (24 May 2011):
 with me it was after two weeks!
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (24 May 2011):
 It's not so much a matter of time as a matter of comfort. When a couple starts spending nearly every night together, your stuff is just always at the other's apartment or house, when you feel comfortable enough to be completely yourself. It should be at least six months of dating though, you'll want to get a sense of a person's flaws and such before taking such a big step. You don't want to move in and discover you can't live with some weird little quirk.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (24 May 2011):
 Hi
I would suggest spending a couple of weeks together first , so you can see what you are both like living together. And if it works out, and you both love eachothers company, then go for it. BUT it is a very big step, as others have said, once you go dwn that road there is no turning back, it's either going to work , and you live blissfully happy together, or it's not and could spell the end of could have been a good relationship..baby steps, and you will fall into place :)
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 May 2011):
 there is no set time.once you are finding you are spending more time together than apart, you can start talking about it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2011): Whenever it's practical to do so really. Personally I only move in with girlfriends when we've already reached a level of comfort that they practically already live with me, they stay over so often.
You'd be surprized how often people move in together after years of being together and the very act of moving in ruins their relationship. Moving in is a huge step, you'd be amazed how your partner could turn out to be a very annoying housemate. The little annoying habits that we all have some of, can really start to grate. I've seen it time and again with my friends, they move on together because they're "so in love" without giving any consideration to whether they'd work well living together and it often doesn't work. The same has happened to people I know who were in long term LDR's and decided to move in together.
The only advice I can give is love alone is never enough for anything. Just like relationships, moving in together has to be practical, you have to work well together on a day to day basis or you'll quickly find out that love is not enough to stop your partners insistence on playing her favourite 'the same 5 pop songs over and over again' radio station really loud every morning without fail, regardless of whether you're trying to sleep or not. (I hate pop music)
Moving in together before you're ready will always kill a relationship, when you discover that you don't work as housemates for whatever reason, well you've basically just discovered that you have no long term future together.
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A
female
reader, Lexie88 +, writes (24 May 2011):
 I don't think there's a set time or time period. It's when you guys have openly discussed what moving in together means to you both, and when you have agreed what you want from each other and the relationship in the future.
For example, no point in moving in together if one partner wants to get married in the next two years and sees moving in together as one step closer to that goal, while the other thinks moving in together is for convenience only and hasn't thought further than a few weeks/months ahead.
My rule is only move in together once you've decided (both of you) that you want to make a life long committment to each other.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 May 2011):
 Anywhere from one month to three years. Some even longer. Depends on circumstances in most cases, and need. Many move together because it is practical and cheaper that way, or if it is the only way they can see each other (if they originally live far apart), and likewise if it is unpractical to live together they don't for quite some time. A couple I know haven't moved in together even though they've been together for 4 years. They're about to move together now, and I asked why it didn't happen earlier. She said it was because he has so much mess, and stuff, and if she was to live with him they'd have to be able to afford a large apartment so he can have all his mess in a separate room, haha! Also, up until now he'd been living with someone else, and this person is now moving out, so timing is better as he'd need a new place to live anyway.
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A
female
reader, kylieekristina +, writes (24 May 2011):
 I think you should wait as long as possible. One thing about the relationship game is that it is very hard, in my opinion impossible to go backwards. Meaning, once you take that big step to move in together, there is no turning back. I think a couple should move in together when u realize your spending every night together anyway and its silly to pay two payments when one of you always has an empty apartment or house. Untill then, enjoy the stage your relationship is in....because you can never go back to this time....you may find yourself regretting moving so fast because you can make a lot of wonderful memories going nice and slow.
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