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female
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*herreeBee
writes: How do you know when it is officially over ? When you have been through so many ups and downs with a person and you've given it everything because you knew it was worth it. When you've experienced and felt so many excellent feelings with this person and you both know that it will last a long time.. No, things aren't always perfect but when they are its perfect in a way that you can never let go of. I've been in a 4 month relationship with a person who I would compromise so many things for including male friends. He just can't get past his insecurities or whatever it is that clouds his mind with these horrible actions that don't even go on between my male friends and I! He acts arrogant at times in how he criticizes the people I talk to (generally the guys) in saying that they're doing nothing with their lives and that I feel like I need to talk to these people to make MYself feel important.. WHat the HEll?!?! IT makes no sense! It's not even true!!! THe problem is that he is soooo stuck in his ways of thinking he won't just be mature about the situation and realize that no man on the planet would mean anything to me as much him!! I don't know if we can fix it this time.. I KNOW I don't deserve this treatment. What's sick is how much I'm willing to push past myself.. I don't know how many times I can go around in circles with this guy... I'm only 17 for christs sakes!! I should be happy ALL the TIME !! Right?!?! I'm motivated and totally focused on my future goals. I just thought that he was supposed to be there the whole time we were both on our way to the top. We both are such optimistic and driven people and we were supposed to be there for each other every step of the way. It really sucks.. It makes me sad, mad, want to beat the crap out of him.. So many different emotions... Mostly hurt at the thought of knowing its "officially over.." Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2006): hey sweetiewell, i'm in a similar situation at the moment, except my ex bf uses me a lot and i never know where i stand with him. This has been going on for 3 years now. I still love him sooo much, but he just won't let me know what he wants. I have never known whether we have officially "broken up" or not because it's like we never have!The best advice i can give you hun, is keep talking to him, BUT please PLEASE don't waste your time waiting around for him. I know you love this guy, i'm the same with my ex and i just can't seem to get over him!I know you feel like you can't move on, and i'm exactly the same, but i can promise you, both of us, one day will find someone better and we definitely will.If this guy won't let you know whether it's over or not and your confused, do what i did: give him an ultimatum.I told my ex that it's all or nothing and he has to make his mind up whether we're together or not and if he wants me. I haven't got the clearest answer in the world from him, but at least i've told him what i'm feeling and how things are going to be.I'm young like you, i'm 18.It sounds to me like your guy has a lot of emotional problems to deal with, same as my ex.It's hard to know what's going on coz they won't open up properly and kind of hold up a "barrier" to themselves and won't let anyone in.my ex also acts childish too and dosen't act mature about the situation.I truly hope u find happiness one day hun, and i wish u the best of luck!Take care
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reader, nofrills +, writes (11 February 2006):
 Your boyfriends problem is jealousy, he wants all to himself and is being selfish!At 17 you should not be in such a difficult and deep relationship, anyway.You have many milestones to conquer and what you are wanting now, will not be what you will be wanting in 10 years from now, guaranteed.
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reader, SherreeBee +, writes (11 February 2006):
SherreeBee is verified as being by the original poster of the question Little update to the situation.. We met up downtown this afternoon.. He looked like crap from how much he had been drinking the past couple of days. And the thing is that he's not even a drinker. He quit years ago, and had told me that he drank the night I was over his house to show me the "ugly" side of him.. I was like, "Why?!" He explained to me that he's scared.*Sighs* I know,I know.. Same lame thing a lot of guys say. He said that he's pushing me away and doesn't want me to hurt him in the future even though he should know by now this wouldn't happen. I asked him if he's trying to see how much crap I can put up with or something, because quite frankly.. I'm just.. confused! I love him. I want to continue growing with him. I don't want to move on to another guy! That would reeeaaallly suck! I can't even think of other guys in even partially the way I think of him!! Geez! I know its a lot to read, but the more info I give maybe the better response I'll get:-) Thanks everyone!
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