A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How do you know if you are just a hookup or a guy wants something more? So I'm in college and from what I know about guys is if they just want a hookup, it usually after a drunk night and then the only time they want to talk to you is when you are all drinking again. No texts in the day or asking you to do anything in public. (I have some close guy friends and I see this pattern with them and other girls over and over, we even talk about it sometimes) I met a guy and we hooked up a few times. The first time was after drinking, but we hung out a few days later when we were both sober. He's been texting me alot, day and night. He's even asked me to do stuff with him. But.. how do I know if he actually likes me and wants a relationship? Or is he just bored so he's texting me or wants something to do? This is one of those things I feel weird asking my guy friends their opinions about because I don't want to look like an idiot thinking there could be more if there isn't. What signs tell you what a guy is really thinking about you?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2012): If a girl starts out by sleeping with me, and then cuts it off to see if there is relationship potential, then I am done trying to get involved with her. Even though I might have been willing to wait that long to sleep with her for the first time.
That sort of behavior is a neon sign saying she is messed up about sex and relationships. I mean nothing to her and she gives me sex, but I stop getting sex once I start to mean something to her? Fine then I am better off not meaning something to her. She gives guys more sex for just wanting to use her than for trying to have something real with her. What a colossal turnoff.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 July 2012):
 If you continue to hang out without sex, he might be interested in more, if you have sex and still see each other he might think you are doing the FWB or he might want more.
Only way you will really know is by asking him.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2012): If you've already hooked up with this guy a few times, then he doesn't want a relationship with you because he didn't need to offer one to get you into bed, thus you are just a hookup and that's all you'll ever be to him. He's already getting what he wants from you, no reason to up the ante when you have nothing more to offer for him. You can't mark yourself up after the sale is made.
My guess is he's texting because he wants to continue enjoying casual no-strings sex with you on a regular and frequent basis without obligation or commitment for as long as he can, which will be as long as you let him.
Maybe if you laid off the booze, then you might meet a guy who is also sober and under those circumstances you'd have a better idea of his true intentions from the start.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 July 2012):
 you don't know... you just go out and spend time and play it by ear and table sex for a while and see if he sticks around.
if you are not sleeping with him and he keeps coming back then he's probably interested.
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A
female
reader, IamJess  +, writes (12 July 2012):
 I think if a guy really likes you he will go out of his way to talk to you and try and spend time with you, in public or not, and sober or not. If he's just texting you on the nights your both going somewhere like a party and drinking, and using a lot of flirty words then obviously I wouldn't say he had an interest in you, but if he seems caring, and friendly and not just all about the "winky texts" then I think he would actually like you and should want a relationship with you.
You will know if he also flirts with other girls that he's not really interested in you, he's just interested in everyone.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (12 July 2012):
 You know he actually likes you when you have spent a good deal of time with him, have gotten to know him and his values, and are a couple. I think girls/women often have sex with a guy too soon and thereby ruin their chances of actually developing a good strong relationship. College is notorious for drunken sexual encounters. If you want a good relationship, I would avoid this type of scenario at all cost. Develop the relationship first, then decide if you like him and trust him enough to stick around afterward if you have sex.
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