A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 4 1/2 years and think I've started falling for our roommate. Our relationship has always been rocky because of his ADHD and being Bipolar. He's expressed wanting to sleep with new girls just for the excitement seeing as I no longer make him cum like he used to. But my boyfriend still excites me sexually but he never finishes the job... Now about 4 months ago his friend of many years rented out our extra bedroom and we're all 19-20 years old living pretty good since we all work. Our friend has a 8 month old son and the babys mom isn't in the picture. But when we hang out alone I always feel like he's hitting on me and he's always pointing out how badly my boyfriend treats me or how much the baby likes me. I've only ever slept with my boyfriend and lately thinking about our roommate has been exciting me but I know it's so wrong and I don't want to be with him, but what can I do to get over this lust? Do I sleep with him and hopefully that brings excitement back into my relationship and eases my curiosity or just get over my crush and suck it up? Do I need to have had the experience to truly know if I'll be happy with my boyfriend the rest of my life?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (13 July 2012):
 Since you own the house, give everybody 30 days (or 60-90) whatever works for you and ask them to move out. Seems like they are taking your for granted in more ways then one.
If a relationship doesn't work, taking a break rarely fixes it. It can temporarily, but rarely long term, so I honestly think you need to take the time to figure out if THIS is what you want long term or not.
And just having sex to have sex.. well, it's all good and dandy for some people, but I thin you ought to be single for that.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI can't move out, I own the house since I bought it with insurance money from an accident. I love my boyfriend to death don't get me wrong but our sex life has just become terrible, He's to lazy to finish with me and he wants to sleep with other girls. I'm just wondering if we should separate for a little while to understand if it's each other we really want to always be with. I can't kick him out either, He would have nowhere else to go. His mother is renting out my other extra bedroom... I'm basically babysitting his family.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 July 2012):
 Honey I have ADHD... my fiance is probably bipolar (his mom is and he has wild mood swings)... sleeping with your roommate is a lousy idea....
you don't know if you will ever live "happily ever after"
life is about risks.
I can tell you right now that your boyfriend is NOT doing it for you...
the roommate is not helping.
Personally my motherly advice is this:
1 make plans to get a new place to live.... either go home to your parents if that's an option or find a female or two to share space with....
I'll tell you why... your relationship with your boyfriend is not a good one... you are not happy, you are not sexually satisfied, you are taking on the responsibilities of his orgasms (he doesn't cum like he used to) that is not your problem or your fault.
I think that you will leave him eventually. I would like to see you do it in an adult manner... no cheat on him... not lie to him... not debase yourself by agreeing to an open relationship...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2012): No, cheating is never the answer, if you want to be with someone else, break up with your boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, IamJess  +, writes (12 July 2012):
 I think if you sleep with your room-mate whilst with your boyfriend its just going to be a constant affair where your constantly cheating on him with him because once you've done it once, you'll probably keep going back. It's not going to bring excitement into YOUR relationship because its not with YOUR boyfriend, you and your boyfriend need to bring excitement together, not apart.
If he's said that he wants to sleep with other girls, but he's still with you, you need to talk about this, I wouldn't say these feelings are normal for a couple that should be feeling love towards one another.
Usually if you was in love with your boyfriend anyways you wouldn't be feeling anything for anyone else. Maybe thats a sign.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 July 2012):
Easy answer, NO.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (12 July 2012):
 Isn't an ADHD and bipolar boyfriend exciting enough? No one is going to justify cheating here. When you fall for someone outside the relationship usually it's time to end the relationship. If he has trouble coming that's his problem. He can't blame it on you. That's not his ADHD. That's him being a jerk. You should have broken up with him when he mentioned he needed new girls to make him cum. Either you or him need to move out. I would be very worried about the boyfriend's reaction after he knows of your cheating. What a good way to bring out his bipolar side. It's very hard to hide the cheating also when you live together. You think sleeping with the friend would bring excitement and therefore make your boyfriend cum. I have heard of sperm competition but I don't think this is a real solution for a relationship problem. He is hinting at open relationship. He is addicted to high thirlls and so high maintenance. Your curiosity about this friend will get you nowhere. Yes, you'll know that you can make him cum, he desires you, then what? Your friend would tempt you and then he knows you are okay with cheating. He will like your sex but won't look at you as girlfriend material. You either directly talk to your boyfriend about the subject of open relationship, or a break up. I don't think open relationship is a good idea. It can bring a lot of mess and drama. Not a good idea with roommates. I think roommates should be strictly platonic. As for the lust just masturbate it away. Look at porn or something. Your friend is not the only guy who turns you on. As long as you are still his girlfriend, tell your friend to tone it down and butt out. Your relationship is none of his business as of right now.
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