A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How does one find the balance?I recently heard a theory that if you show women you love them too much, all you do is chase them away. But at the same time, if you don't show then you love them, they will feel unwanted.What the f--k is that!?With my first girlfriend, we were together for 2 years, and in that whole time, I showed her how much I loved her at every opportunity. We lasted a long time, and I never once worried about this "balance" as I've heard it called. How can I find it?I fall in love fast, and I love to express it when I feel it... But it turns out, doing that is something that can push women away. What am I going to do? This changes my whole perspective on love. It was fun before, but now it sounds awful. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2008): The main thing to remember is that women always want what they can't have so don't be too keen. You need to learn when to step forward and when to step back.
Good Luck
A
female
reader, Serinity  +, writes (29 January 2008):
 Don't change yourself to accomodate a theory. If you are they type to express your feelings, then do it! If you change the way you were built to opperate, then your not going to attract the women that you are compatible with.
So often times I've been in relationships where they guy alters his personality/habits to accomodate to me, then after finding a comfort zone, they change back to the way they really are and suddenly we were no longer compatible. I personally prefer it when a guy is himself from the very begining that way I can decide if we're compatible or not. Besides, it's an opinion based theory. Each woman is different, some women (such as myself) prefer a more open, honest, sentimental man who's not afraid to show his feelings (such as yourself) and some prefer a more serious, refined (boring!)personality. I would suggest that you don't worry about that theory and just be yourself. That's if you want to find someone who you're really compatible with. Good luck!!!
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A
female
reader, xxmissxx +, writes (29 January 2008):
 Well, i think youll find that this "balance" isnt supposed to take effect all at once straight away.
As a woman who knows about the "balance" and likes it to be abided by, i will fill you in on what it means.
In the begining of a relationship, your supposed to show the girl you like them, but dont smother them, allow any feelings or love to grow between you over time.
Then at the other end of the spectrum, where youve been together for a certain amount of time your supposed to show more and more affection because youve both given eachother time enough to get used to this kind of attention. hope this helps hun xx
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