A
female
age
30-35,
*adieSA
writes:My fiance and I can sit in the same room with each other for hours and yet it feels as if we are in seperate rooms. This is a daily thing. We have tried buying games to play, getting new movies, even writting to each other, but we always seem to go back to the silence and sitting by ourselves. What can we do to fix this?
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male
reader, PM  +, writes (10 June 2010):
 Communication habits can be a difficult thing to change as they involve changing something that already exists in a relationship, so some effort is required. But here are some ideas.
You mention that you sit separately, do you ever sit together? Do you often spend time just cuddling/snuggling on the couch, etc? I find that the physical closeness often puts people at ease and makes it easier to talk.
Do the two of you ever talk about your days with each other? Just spending a bit of time each day talking about how your days went is a good way to develop the habit of just talking with each other about things.
Another thing I'd consider is going out as a couple to social events. I find that when a couple's been social with others as a couple, they tend to bring some of that social spirit home with them. The two of you could set up gatherings with friends, networking events, mixers, etc. Just things which encourage conversation among people.
Hope that helps.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (10 June 2010):
 All the things you listed are individual activities. Writing letters: you do that alone. Watching movies: you can do that alone, same with playing a game. It doesn't require a lot of verbal communication.
Try something that requires teamwork, or a setting where you have to talk to each other. But, if the conversation doesn't flow naturally you can't force it. I found that cooking dinner together often brings up conversation and funny topics.
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A
female
reader, loops  +, writes (10 June 2010):
Yeah I understand my boyfriend is very much stuck in his ways, and doesn't talk much but we both love each other but can go hours and hours in the same house without really speaking to each other. I have just learnt to take it as just being him, and relax and enjoy it when he does take the time out to talk to me, sit with me etc. We tend to only really 'talk' when we argue ha ha, but i am very aware of whats going on, how we both feel etc on a day to day basis. I am very happy its just one of those things, it may be just something you grow to accept in time.
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A
female
reader, SadieSA +, writes (10 June 2010):
SadieSA is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you loops. It was good advice but adly we have tried that as well. Its the same thing. I am very happy with our relationship, it would just be nice to talk to each other every now and then.
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A
female
reader, loops +, writes (10 June 2010):
Are you generally happy in your relationship? It may just be a independence thing, myself and my partner can go without speaking for hours just because we are doing our own thing but we are happy and we come together in the evening etc. Maybe stop pushing the communication and do things outside to naturally get you speaking more, go and do an outside activity, something that isn't silent (i.e steer away from cinema etc) and simply spend time with each other in a way that isn't forced.
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