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male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have failed to found a person, yet, a friend or a girl who could really understand my deeper feelings and would appreciate the same or accept them to be normal. Because of this, i am losing faith and don't find it worth relating with any human being no matter how good he may be to me from outside. In my inner world, i see a place where all people are considered equal and they live with a sense of co-operation and goodwill for each other in a non-judgemental fashion, and they care for each other rather than exploiting each other. There is a great rapport in way people do things and everyone takes personal responsibility of their own work so that there is no need to superviseor monitor people or regulate them with disciplinary actions. There is no sense of ownership for any asset or object and people respect each others boundaries and personal space. There is least competition and struggle for survival or earning the living.I understand that these things are ideal and difficult to find in real world. But then, life is not worth living for me if atleast few of these things don't hold any relevance in the real world. So i try to reflect this vision and sometimes even force people to comply to these conceptual existence. Sometimes i succeed and sometimes i fail but it's really difficult for me to give up the way i see things from my perspective. However, i might come out as pushy to other people and may even scare them away if they don't match to fit in to my picture of people in ideal world of my own. Please advice on how do strike a balanced way of seeing things so that i can relate with people the way they are rather than trying to see them the way i want to.Get an account is on my list of things to do..... Reply to this Question
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male
reader, DrCynic  +, writes (12 April 2007):
 Like so many of us, you are an idealist. People like you can change the world. Some people aren't able to accept others for whatever reason... The rascists, bigots, etc. out there are unfortunately the ones who are closest to power, and thus the control.
Life's not very fair... Never give up your vision. There's always some little hope.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2007): I know exactly how you feel I have felt and still do the same way but as dragonette writes there are exceptions to the generel rule out thre and they are very special people and they remind us that the values we seek still do exist if the world you wished for existed it would be utopia and its our individuality that makes us what we are never give up hope as hard as it may seem and always talk to people about how you feel you may find not every one is as bad as you think.
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A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers  +, writes (11 April 2007):
 I can see where you come from. In the ideal world we would'nt have the horrors that surround us on a daily basis, plastered on the news and newspapers about racial hatred and the such. We now live in a society where no-one takes responsibility for their own actions in the way humans should do. We as a people are selfish hence the way we live our lives living the way many of us do. Eyes down.
Yes, there are many good people, people who will help Grannys with their shopping, the people who stop and ask someone looking distressed if they are ok. As Madonna once said we live in a material world, which we have started to depend on, rather than depend on each other.
This has been lost now and most kids grow up in front of the TV and Playstation, trying to fit into a culture which does'nt belong to them. Most people tend not to look further than next week, let alone next year; where in fact everyone needs to look where we are heading in the next decade and more. What sort of society are we becoming?
We live in a beautiful world full of marvels and splendour, which goes unnoticed by most. Nowhere in the known universe can we find such things, yet the majority tend to ignore it and take it for granted.
The fact is we as a people/society have lost our power to fight for the things which matter. The good wholesome aspects to human life which generations valued many, many years ago. Some still do, but not in large cities and towns where the hustle and bustle is a daily contest. We are blinded by the fast food, the widescreen plasma TVs, the mortgage, the bills to pay.
The majority of people have it in them to be like your vision but its the world we live in and told to adapt, rather than stand up for who we are as a race who should treat everyone with equal respect and find a balance. As do all other living things do. It doesnt sound hard.
To be honest your vision sounds like something out of Star Trek, which is a great vision; but not going to happen unless we learn the hard way.
The best thing you can do is lead by example. Stick in there.
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A
female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (11 April 2007):
 Your vision is very nice. It's hard to implement however, just as you've realized.
But I think that the "good-will and cooperation" that you dream of is real. Everyday I meet people who help me in one way or another, be it something big like helping me how to pump up a flat tire, or something small like a few friendly words.
If you want a non-judgmental and tolerant world, you will need to be non-judgmental and tolerant yourself. Forcing people to comply with your vision is not tolerant and therefore not true to your vision.
My advice to you would be to just look around. Go out on a sunny day and you will see the world in a new light. There will be old grandfathers teaching their grandkids how to ride a bike, a toddler learning to walk, couples in love taking while holding hands. There's a lot of wonderful things in the world, so I think that your vision and the world as it is can meet half-way.
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