A
female
age
30-35,
*ohannabanana
writes: So I have this best friend and he is a guy we have dated off and on. I'm 16 and he is 19... Our relationship is complicated because he is going to College in another state and I'm in high school. I'm able to see him every break that comes though which is awesome. We decided that it's better to let each other live our own lives until we can actually be together...After all many people say long distance relationships don't work. So we decided to be "just friends." We have talked about sex a lot of times though, he has done it with a few people and I'm a virgin. I told him I'm not ready, and he said he is okay with that, because I'm worth waiting for. Because it's summer we have been able to spend a lot of time together... When we are kissing and I'm sitting on his lap he gets really turned on though he says stuff like I really wish we could do it, I want you so bad, image if we were doing it, or image what are first time together would be like.... by him saying these things does that mean he really just wants sex. I feel a little presured because he is worked up. recently I was drunk and texted him saying "I think I love you but I don't know." He said "I think I'm falling for you too"... When he told me about what I said the next day I was embarrassed, but we moved past it. However, last week he asked if I meant what i said when I drunk-texted him and I asked why he was doing this to me and he asked "what do you mean?" I simple told him "you want me to say something your obviously can't say back." He asked me why I was so sure he wouldn't say it back and I told him I just did.... but then he said "I love you." but with the way he acts when we are together is it really love or does he just want to hookup while he is in town?
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best friend, drunk, I love you, kissing, long distance, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (24 July 2010):
 Ask him to stop making sexual comments, if he does it, get up and leave, you have to teach people how to treat you, and it you don't like it, then leave.
A
female
reader, johannabanana +, writes (22 July 2010):
johannabanana is verified as being by the original poster of the question Well the reason it is on/off is actually because of my father... He doesn't want us being more than friends until I'm older. But we had dating and then decided to be friends a few times. i know he cares about me though...
I just want to know how I can get him to stop talking about it.. I know he's a guy, but I don't want him saying comments like that if I don't want to (and probably won't until I'm 18 or older)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (22 July 2010):
The moment you said your relationship was on/off, I knew what he wanted. He doesn't love you at all.
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A
female
reader, johannabanana +, writes (22 July 2010):
johannabanana is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI may not have been very clear here...
@ohgetreal.. I was drunk at my house drinking with family not around him... What I "said" was in text message. Don't worry I'm always at my wits with guys my age around. It's important to remain in control.
@Anonymous how did you know he was from Texas?
@sexlessintheuk The thing is I was friends with this guy for a year or longer before we even realized we even liked each other, he was doing his thing and so was I, but we became more of best friends and talked to each other about everything.
But I just don't know... If things are meant to be they will and since we don't even go a day without talking I think he wants more than sex.... And I realize the thing about older guys going for younger girls but since we were friends a long time before that it is kinda different. our personalities just match up kind of perfectly. But it kinda bothers me the way he hints at sex like I mentioned above. A lot of time sex ruins things and I know it will just complicate things. I'm not going to do anything with someone who has to leave later....
Is there a way I could get him to stop bringing it up?
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A
female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (22 July 2010):
None of us could possibly know what this fellow's real intentions are, but I'd say that you will feel badly if you have sex with him and give away your virginity to a guy who is in college and is having sex with a different girl every week probably.
Young men will say anything, I mean anything to get into your pants, to get sex including I love you, they can even act as if they are in love and not be in love.
He told you he would wait. Then if you want a real relationship, make him wait. I think you are smart though for realizing the chances of that are pretty slim due to long distance and being at different places in your life.
I would not be drinking around him either. Plenty of first time pregnancies and mistakes with sex happen when alchohol is added to the mix.
It is up to you of course, but I wouldn't give it up to the first guy that blows in your ear (while sitting on his lap).
Take care.
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