A
male
age
30-35,
*owtie
writes:hello I'm in a bit of a situation here. so I met this girl through friends, she came with my buddies girl friend and I saw her and instantly knew I liked her but at that moment she thought another guy in our group of friends was cute, I said nothing and didn't tell anyone. throughout our get together we talked differently not realizing we liked each other. this girl and I began to talk on the phone a lot and she told me some deep secrets and how some guys she has dated screwed her over (for example) guy1-she drove him around, bought him clothes, took him out and payed his way. well (guy1) turned 21 got a job never did anything nice for her and went to the bar and ignores her. then there's bad ex boyfriend 2, well guy 2 she still kind of liked until his last antic so he's no longer a problem but he dated her and he treated her poorly and he'd blow her off she still had feeling for him, until he screwed her again and again for example he asks her to hang out, then he blows her off, she works with him to and he left early and ditched her so she could get swamped buy customer's at work. Guy2 won't even acknowledge her when he see's her. now guy3 he was controlling and would yell at her and she left him. so 1 night she called and told me she had a crush on me and I told her I did to. so we began talking telling each other about ourselves. We began to hang out a lot for a while and she backed off for about a week now. She has been hanging out with another guy and she told me she likes him and she does still like me. we live about 45 minutes apart and she has some doubts like will I drive all that way to see her, which my awnser is yes (how do I prove this)? This guy she's hanging with lives closer to her, they met at a friends wedding and danced and he told he has a girlfriend. well they talked to each other and she'd help him with his relationship problems, so he dumped his girlfriend about a week ago and tried to ask her out without meeting her parents or any of that. I see if a relationship does happen then she is his rebound, cause it sounds like his relationship wasn't great so he talked to her. when they talked it formed a trust but it sounds to me, that she is the most trusted woman in his life right now. Cause she has been there through his rough time. so even if he did break up just to date her that tell's me his relationship was shity cause of all that he needed to talk about. so he's going for her because she showed him positive attention helping his emotional wounds when things went bad, so she is his girl to heal his wounds for now. I really do like her I know I'm young but there's nothing I wouldn't do for her I really like her and i have competition somewhat with this other guy, and I'm not being played because going in she said she had other guys who like her but some are assholes and some she wants to know what they are like. so the things I wanna know is how I can really build a relationship she doesn't always tell me everything so I need to earn her trust And I need ways to prove that I deserve her trust? I'd like to know how to prove that gas won't be an issue and I'm fine with driving the distance? I'd like to know how to make her feel safe and secure. Please guys hall me with all these questions and if there's anything you thing will help me please do thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010): well if i were you i would drive up for a visit either just as friends or more but if you make the visit without making a deal about it she will see at least that you can make the trip over anytime. and sometines when you know bolth your scheduals are empty you drive up again. GOOD LUCK!!
A
female
reader, johannabanana +, writes (22 July 2010):
 Have you ever been up to see her? Find out her address and just spontaneously drive up there to see her...(make sure she isn't doing anything first) Show up to her house with some flowers and ask if she would like to go out to dinner with you. And pay for her. Treat her like a lady... Girls love gentlemen.
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