A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don't really know how to phrase this but I've come here for advice before and I'm really hoping someone can help me. I'm dying and have no idea how to tell my boyfriend. We're 18 and have been together for two years. I have been diagnosed with terminal cancer, I only have a few months left. We used to talk about the future all the time, getting married, having children. We'd planned out our whole lives together and I don't know how to tell him he's going to have to do all the things we'd planned without me because I won't last that long. I'm so scared of leaving him behind. How do I tell him that I won't be around to grow old with him or ever be able to have his children? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, smallshezz +, writes (22 February 2011):
 awww bless you should sit him down and tell him the truth its gona hurt him so much but its for the best then you can talk about how your going to spend your next few months good luck anyway :) hope for the best 3
A
female
reader, smallshezz +, writes (22 February 2011):
awww bless you should sit him down and tell him the truth. it's going to hurt him so much, but its for the best Then you can talk about how you're going to spend your next few months good luck anyway :) hope for the best
...............................
A
male
reader, Cupid Boy  +, writes (20 February 2011):
 Just tell him. It's definitely bad news but it's the truth and he needs to hear it, if only to truly value the time he has left with you. Write it in a note or e-mail if you prefer. Or ask your parents to break the news. Whichever way you choose to do it, do it soon. If the situation were reversed, I'm sure you'd want to know.
I can recommend the bestselling book "Anticancer" by David Servan-Schreiber who was a doctor diagnosed with terminal brain cancer at a young age. Told his life would end soon, he started looking into all kinds of studies and alternative health research showing that tumours will starve, remain static, or grow quickly depending on what you feed them. Sugar is like fuel to cancer but avoiding it and eating certain other natural foods can starve tumours or at least slow their growth. The author is still alive today, 20 years after diagnosis, his brain tumour kept in check by his strict diet and lifestyle changes. Not promising this will work for you and false hope is something to guard against. But at 18, you have every reason to try every means at your disposal to keep living.
Listen to your doctors but do your own research as well. There are alternatives that most doctors don't know about. They may seem far-fetched but what do you have to lose? At the very least, trying something will make you feel better than doing nothing.
...............................
A
female
reader, FloridaCatGirl  +, writes (20 February 2011):
 Oh no! I am so sorry to hear this. My heart goes out to you! Does he know you have cancer?
If you don't mind me asking, what type of cancer do you have, and have you gotten a second opinion, or even a third? If you have already gotten a 3rd opinion, have you asked your oncologist if there are any cancer drugs that are currently being tested, and if so, can you join the research group? Your doctor may not be conducting research on any new drugs, so ask him to find doctors who are.
In the 70's my grandmother was diagnosed with lung cancer. She went to the Mayo Clinic and was given a new drug that was being tested. The drug itself almost killed her at first, but it gave her 6 more years of life!
As for your boyfriend, you need to tell him immediately. He will be devastated, but he deserves to know, so he can spend as much time with you as possible. Please let us know what you decide to do! Stay positive!
...............................
A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove +, writes (20 February 2011):
 If he were you, what would you want him to do?
Just so you know my mother was diagnosed with "terminal cancer" and far out lived the time she was given. Someone once told me a joke: How do you make God laugh? Tell him what's going to happen tomorrow. No one knows what the future holds. Sign up for clinical trials and research "diet" for the type of cancer you have been told you have.
Last year the love of my life and I were in a horrific car accident and were literally delivered from death. Prayer works. We are still alive. We live each day with injuries but we are still alive. None of us know how much "time" we have here in this crazy thing called "life".
There is a reason the two of you are together. Tell him your "news" and truly celebrate each day together.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2011): Bless you, you must really love him. I would assume he must love you as much,ergo, tell him gently and hold each other close for as long as you can. he'll most likely stay with you forever anyway. Let him be a part of your leaving,don't shut him out. It's about both of you now. Let the doctors work their miricles and you two will live together forever. bless your heart.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2011): there is no easy way to tell him. but you just have to do it. he deserves to know. explain what is going on and tell him you love him and want to enjoy what little time you have left with him. tell him you will always be around in some way. don't be afraid just live what little time you have to the fullest with him. best wishes keep us posted
...............................
A
male
reader, dd123456789 +, writes (20 February 2011):
My sincere condolences go out to you, they really do. But you must tell him straight away, imagine the agony that he is going to be put through, inevitably he needs notice.
God bless you. xxx
...............................
A
male
reader, JoeDhon +, writes (20 February 2011):
just come out and say it sweetie.
you don't want him to see you go
if he had planned thing, get him to know he can get somethings done instead of waking one day and have ALL of his plans gone
he probably want to give you his name before you leave.
just hold his hand and tell him.
cry kiss and decide next
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 February 2011):
 You just tell him. There's no right way to do this, but the sooner you tell him the better. He needs to know. You can't protect him from the inevitable.
...............................
A
female
reader, hpoco  +, writes (20 February 2011):
 I don't think anyone can give you excellent advice about this, because no matter how or when you say it, it will be hard. You just have to let him know when you are ready.
...............................
|
