A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i want to tell a man i am meeting soon that i am not slim. what should i say. we are only contacting by phone at the moment. have sent him sum pics and look gud in them but in reality i see myself as much bigger and think he has a rite to know. i am a size 14 which is hard for me to accept as i was always an 8 b4 i had my girls. just thin he should know, save myself and him embarrassment on the nte. any advice would be greatly appreciated Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Onlyonequestion  +, writes (25 January 2010):
 First of all in my opinion I believe that if this guy who you have been talking to over the phone likes you for you..then that's all that should matter..don't stress yourself..if you still look good for the size you are now, then there is nothing to worry about..Wear something that falters your shape and stop being so hard on yourself.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (25 January 2010):
As long as the photos do reflect you as you are now, you'll be fine. My girlfriend is a size 14, and I adore her. So my guess is if he really lies you and the photos reflect who you are, he honestly won't mind.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2010): Its just nerves. Tell him you are a size 14. It probably wont mean that much to him anyway and its hardly large by todays standards, so stop worrying x
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (25 January 2010):
 The main question here seems to be did you send him current but flattering pictures? Or,did you send him old pictures from before the girls? I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you sent him pictures that are current but flattering.
Everyone uses flattering pictures, you are just nervous and insecure. You could call him and express your insecurity, it probably won't change his plans to meet you. It may annoy him a bit. I know a few guys who just get tired of their girlfriends always talking about their weight. One time should not be annoying. When he sees you he will say that you look just like your pictures, because you will be wearing a flattering outfit, with makeup and all the bells. Personally I wouldn't do it. I'd just chalk it up to nerves and go on the date. Confidence is more attractive than insecurity. Instead of telling him your dress size tell him your bra size. He will probably have a better grasp of that.
FA
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2010): You have to tell him now ok.
I promise if you dont tell him now, you can pretty much kiss this relationship goodbye.
I know your scared dear and just want him to like you, but to be with someone you have to like whats inside not outside.
Remember women have a much thinner idea of fat than men, we like dangerous curves :)
So tell him and im sure hell be fine, if not then youve save yourself alot of time and bs.
All the best
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A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (25 January 2010):
 I would explain to him on the phone exactly what you have written in your post, that you were a size 8 then you had your daughters and now you are a size 14. a size 14 is not big by anyones standards but I think you should tell him so as not to deceive him.
I went on an internet date once where the guy had sent me his pictures and he looked great. When we met I actually walked past him as he was soooo different. I asked him why he had lied and he said that he knew he wouldn't meet anyone sending pictures of the real him so he hoped people might like him once they had actually met him and this was a way of getting people to turn up. I felt so upset and he made me feel so superficial.
Anyway with all these things even if they are not honest to you, you be honest to them and then you can be happy in knowing you did the right thing and no relationship is going to be founded on lies.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (25 January 2010):
 If the pictures you have sent him are of you as a size 8 then he is definitely going to notice your now a lot bigger. If the pictures are of you as you are now then I don't think he will mind at all.
Men are generally very visual and they don't like to be made a fool of. If he thinks you are slim, then it would probably be better to tell him about your size before you meet and risk losing the date, rather than misleading him and having to risk seeing the look on his face. He may not even mind, but if he does then you will probably not see him again anyhow.
Bite the bullet and tell him or maybe send a more recent picture.
You've heard the saying 'Oh what a wicked web we weave, when first we practice to decieve'
You haven't been honest up front about your size and although its not a major crime...it's got you into a pickle!!
Phone him and tell him...he may still want to meet.
Best of luck to you
Aunty Em xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2010): Haven't you already asked this?
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