A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Okay , all the lady's and Men please help me. ima keep it simple wich is the best way to bring that spark back in our marriage. If my husband tells me he is sick of me keeps on talking in an angry voice, never talks to me at all. How can i ask a simple question during the day and let him be excited to talk back with love and not a angry voice or stupid stuff?? How can i make him leave his hobby for one or two nights and have sex/ make love all night long with out beeing moody or have pms. Yes he has more moodswings than i have. He get iritated quickly and have a bit of a temper. What to do ? i want to spice it up ya know....... Have some sexy time, So he show some interest in me again.......
View related questions:
spark Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2010): You poor thing, I hope you can get his attention by getting a hobby yourself. Stop asking for it and stop wanting it. He'll notice that you're not asking for it anymore and wonder why! Now here's the catch. If you know that he won't care but actually be glad that you stopped bothering him about it then you know he doesn't want you anymore. Who's asking you for sex or just some affection? No one, get it? I have been in the same situation for many years. I am now 40 and and realize that I don't want to waste any more of my time waiting on something that I know that will never be!
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (25 January 2010):
 There are some things you should look into. You say he is moody and has a lowered sex drive. You even call it PMS. It looks like IMS (Irritable Male Syndrome) A hormone imbalance in men that can cause exactly those symptoms. This can be treated by a good doctor, you may need an endocrinologist.
He is getting verbally abusive towards you. That is dangerous. A counselor is appropriate, especially if the counselor has experience with IMS.
Now you brought up his hobby, which the other men have mentioned, I have seen a marriage almost fail over the wife downplaying and not understanding her husbands hobby. I think there is more at play here. He could be using the hobby as an escape from the pressures of his condition. If he is close to your age he is probably quite embarrassed not to be matching you in libido. He may be using the hobby to assert his manliness.
One other thing, if the change was sudden, there could be drugs involved.
OK things you can do besides getting him to a doctor. Learn about his hobby so you can at least talk with him about it, and not sound stupid. Don't nag, he seems to think you talk too much. Try to reduce his stress by not being demanding. Also see if you can remove some other stress from him. This is hard when you feel your needs aren't being met. It should help to think of him as being sick. If you get him in a receptive mood you should let him know that your needs are not being met (without nagging). I think you need to worry about the other problems first. Try to communicate non verbally, your desire for him. these messages actually communicate more strongly that way. Posture and little touches.
FA
...............................
A
male
reader, imnicebuttdim  +, writes (25 January 2010):
what is his hobby? have you tried to join in on his hobby as then he would appreciate it more and then maybe give more back to you as that is what most men love, a woman who joins in with what they want...
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2010): How old is your husband?
I cant really answer this without knowing a bit more first.
What is he so angry about? Does he socialise much, or does he like "me time"? The problems in marridge dont start in the bedroom, they start in comunication between the two of you.
What do you both do together for fun (not sex, trust me that doent count ok)? The problem is that you may not have anything in common. If this is the case then its time to gey something to share where both of you can have fun together.
In order for you to get those sexy times you want, perhaps there is something you can do for him in exchange, like watch a sport with him or something else that would be fun for you both.
When you start having fun together again the rest will fall into place.
...............................
|
