A
female
age
41-50,
angelinvain
writes:Can someone explain to me what LOVE is?My Mother thinks it is remaining monogamous for 53 years. Till my Father died.I don't know I have had 3 Long lasting relationships in life the latter ending in Marriage. I still don't know what love is?I feel I want him there all the time, I sometimes don't like him, sometimes envy him for his talent,sometimes resent his popularity. Can laugh and cry with him, sometimes don't want to be near him. I call this life not Love. That is the way humans react to one another whether it be friendship or LOVE?Someone along the line has come up with this word. I have felt more strongly for friends and animals than I do my Husband some days, and when questioned he admits the same. It is human response. Two different people cannot live harmoniously all the time it is a myth.My Monogamous Mother now claims my Father was awful to her (only after his death) so I just don't get it!I think the actual word doesn't exist it is something people strive for but never achieve, they think they have when they marry. Then it is compromise all the way. As I said two individual people do not co-exist happily for long. He wants to play football you want a dinner party etc. My Mother believes we are all too promiscuous and that is why relationships fail. Without Sex, Intercourse, Copulation, whatever you want to call it, there would not be a population.We all think this word LOVE is magic. It isn't it is called LIFE!Thank you for listening. Reply to this Article
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (23 February 2010):
 For me..love is when you meet him and you hear music, see stars and everything is golden... Then you start dating and it gets worse, he's not only part of your body, he's your heart, the most special part.
And then he leaves, and your heart dies and leaves a big hole that nothing and nobody can ever fill.
I don't do definitions of love, it's beyond words, love just is. If you need a definition, then you've never been in love.
A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (23 February 2010):
 We should note difference between 'liking' and 'loving'. Although, both are in the same category. The word love when associate with 'eroticism', it refer 'romantic love'. The questioner mean this 'romantic love'. But, what D.H. Lowrance, the world famous novelist and thinker, has observed is this: Marriage is true 'Deathbed' of romantic love.
Most people, more than one can count, do not feel romantic love in their marriage relationship. Sex became mechanical and dull routine, is the killing element of romance of erotic state. These cause more tension in marriage. It seems, people manage their marriage relations, for different reason, but not for 'romantic love'
Human mind, take relationship as addiction, because mind cannot live in a lonely state. Husband wife fight daily, not sure of reason, but fight. Anything can work as reason for fighting, or no fight and live without mutual communication.
I firmly believe, to make marriage life like a heaven, one should care and preserve, the urge of 'erotic love and erotic pleasure.
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A
female
reader, sammi star +, writes (23 February 2010):
 You mention more than once that love isn't real because 2 different people cannot live harmoniously together all the time. Of course they can't, people will argue and fall out but that doesn't mean you don't love that person anymore! Sometimes my partner drives me crazy, we're both very stubborn and when neither of us are backing down on an important issue I just want to get away from him and not even speak to him but I still know that I love him. My daughter knows exactly how to push my buttons and often leaves me seething by constantly breaking the rules and talking back but I'm still aware that I love her more than anything. For me, you know you love someone when you would put them before yourself everytime. I don't mean let them walk all over you and give in to their every whim but the fact that their health and happiness means so much more to you than your own or anybody else, I would do anything for my partner and daughter and they come first everytime. Of course there's always that 'in love feeling' that lets you know aswell, the one you can't quite describe, where your knees go weak when you spot him across the room and just closing your eyes and picturing his face makes you smile and brightens up your day :) But yeah, I think that many people have many different definitions of love, it means something different to each of us.
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A
female
reader, visione  +, writes (29 January 2010):
 I think the reason why many people have difficulties coming up with the true definition of love is because:
1. Media overhypes love. They make it seem so romantic and so happy - ever since we are children they put that concept into our minds... that someone will come along and sweep us off our feet, that we will instantly adore them. This rarely happens, and happily ever afters rarely happen either. What media portrays as "love" is more along the lines of infatuation. Or more like the honeymoon phase of a relationship, where everything is perfect. Many people cannot handle reality when that phase is over.
2. Love is defined by the individual, what you may think of as love might not be love to another person. Depending on how we grew up, what information we picked up from our environment, and how people treat us - our definitions of love can be easily altered.
3. Love is not always required to start a "relationship" - as long as compatibility and friendship exists, and communication is clear, a relationship can be created. Because in the end, you have to deal with this person for a laaarge amount of your life. Romantic feelings can die quick, but think about your close friends that have stuck with you - you grow to love them, right? You can grow to love people. You might have arguments, you might disagree about things, but in the end you still share some sort of bond.
I know a lot of people say that BS about you have to love someone COMPLETELY.. people often change so your "love" for them has to be constantly adapting. Your paragraph about sometimes not liking, other times feeling resentment, etc is definitely something everyone goes through... it is what keeps the relationship dynamic and interesting. If you were constantly agreeing with each other.. wow, how boring that would be! We would have to be carbon copies of our partners! As long as you are open in communication, and can express your feelings, and trust that your partner will (try to) understand you - the relationship can go on.
When things go out of balance and when one side doesn't put in as much of an effort is when things go bad.
Love is a choice.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2010): Infatuation is when you like every organ in their body.
Love is when that person becomes another vital organ in your body.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (25 January 2010):
 I have given my definition of love many times on this site. Here is the way I see it:
To love a person, first and foremost you must KNOW them personally. Lots of teenagers say they "love" a celebrity or are "in love" with them but of course this can't be, they love the idea of who they are but if they've never met them then it's just a crush or infatuation.
Real love on the other hand is very different. If you truly love someone then you respect them for who they are, warts and all. You want to look after them and protect them, you look out for them and put them first. You feel happy and content in their company and enjoy being together. Above all you can be yourself when you're with them. You never try to be anything more or someone different because you don't need to. You don't have to impress them to win them over and you never have to play games to make them like you. There is trust and understanding on both sides and you feel safe and secure within yourself. You would never undermine them, they are not someone in whose company you feel threatened or small. They are someone with whom you can share your innermost thoughts and worries, a person with whom you should be able to share anything, they are your friend and your confidante and you can be honest with them at all times, you can tell them anything because they love you as you are.
He/she may be someone who is the direct opposite of you. On the surface you may seem like chalk and cheese. Whilst you may be loud and forceful they may be quiet and thoughtful. You may come from different backgrounds, different countries or be twenty years apart but this doesn't matter. There is an unspoken language between you, the spiritual connection between you both is so deep that you seem to be able to communicate without even speaking to each other. You are happy to lie in silence together. You feel sometimes that there is no need to talk because you feel that you know what they are thinking anyway. You feel so close to them that sometimes you think you could almost read their mind. You know when they are worried, in pain, or sad just by looking at them. It is as though there exists some kind of telepathy between you.
Real love stands the test of time, you laugh together, cry together and even have your differences but this doesn't matter, you love that person AND their failings. You come together in a crisis and work through things together and this just brings you closer. You take their feelings into consideration in all that you do. They are the most important person in your life!
~Eve~
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2010): No, offense but do you feel that your mother loved you?
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