A
male
age
30-35,
*ndbandy5
writes:Hello,I discovered a lad over a trusted website where people of my sexual orientation socialize.A lad message me and I liked his pictures and he seemed an amazing person.I am not over my ex boyfriend sadly even though we broke up 7 months ago.When I finally met up with him I didn't feel the connection but he feels one. I feel I have led him on to a point where he loves me but I only want to be best friends. My question is, How do I tell him or make it known I don't want to be with him and that friendship is all I want?Secondly, Any advice on how to get over my ex when we broke up 7 months ago?ThanksAndy.
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male
reader, aaringurl  +, writes (25 July 2011):
You just have to tell him now, point-blank. It'll be hard for him to process what you're saying if you're still all cutesy about it. Tell him directly, and let him feel where he stands and stuff. Also, even if you're telling it straight to the point, be tact. Always be tact. Who knows, you'd end up in his shoes too, and someone you like doesn't like you the same way. So, just be firm yet kind.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2011): You'll have to be honest and unapologetic about it. Being nice is too often mistaken for just being shy.
Keep it brief. You don't have to explain why you feel the way you do. And don't use a past lover as an excuse (when speaking with him). He'll think you're asking him to wait until you're ready.
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A
female
reader, silverlining +, writes (17 July 2011):
 I think if you make it clear to him that although you find him a great person but just not in that way he will understand. If he doesnt then you will have to tell him that you feel that it is not appropriate to hang around together because you dont want him to think your leading him on! As for getting over you ex this will happen in time, just be patient, one day you will realise you have not thought about him in ages. When you care for someone it does not just turn off like a tap, but it will fade probably when you meet someone really great!
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A
female
reader, Mami26  +, writes (17 July 2011):
 First of all you have to be honest with him,if hes a good guy he deserves it.Second you should tell him,"I think your a great guy,but i dont feel a connection with you,I'm sorry.Its my fault maybe i should of waited to meet new people until my heart was healed and I was completely over my ex." And how to get over your ex....thats up to your heart to decide,sorry for the bad news,but getting over someone is hard believe me i know.try and keep yourself busy and think,"theres a reason why we aint together,it wasnt meant to be,this is not the person God put on this earth for me to find."hope that helps!
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