A
male
age
26-29,
*ackalus
writes:Ok, this girl and I have liked each other for about a month and I didn't know her very well so I wanted to know her better before we went out. But yesterday me and this other girl flirted a lot and the people we were with said we should go out. I started liking her as well but I don't know if she likes me. I don't like the 1st girl anymore but she is a really nice person and likes me alot. So my question is how do I tell her I like someone else and not her anymore without hurting her?
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (13 March 2011):
 http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-so-conflicted-i-dont-want-to-hurt.html
What about the girl that you told her you loved her? You really don't know who you like.
Actually you don't have to tell the first girl you like someone else. Just tell her you'd rather be friends. She may be hurt for a bit, but eventually she'll move on.
A
male
reader, uncle bob  +, writes (12 March 2011):
 CONGRATULATIONS and WELCOME, to the screwed up world of "LOVE".I hope your ready for this!Monday. You really like her, but she likes somebody else.Tuesday. She's in LOVE with you, but you no longer know she exsists!Wednesday. She totally HATES you, and your wondering WTF!!!And so it goes! For at least the next 3 or 4 years anyway.I'm sorry to tell you this but, you, all your buddies, and every girl in your age group are completely hormonally"INSANE", when it comes to the issue of the opposite sex!There's no way for anyone to emerge from this stage of life without getting occasionally hurt, or heartbroken.The only tools I might be able to offer so you can get out of this stage of life fairly intact, and without you looking like a jerk to others is,1. Always treat others as you would want to be treated.2. Never speak ill of anyone, no matter how enraged you may feel at the time.3. There's nothing you can do about how others interpret your actions or words. However if you put into practice the first two rules, you shoulden't do too bad.If she feels hurt over what your about to tell her, I'm sorry.There's not much you can do about that. Just don't be a "Prick" about it. OK?
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A
female
reader, Auntie Mel +, writes (12 March 2011):
 The best way to deal with this would be to tell the 1st girl that you think she is really nice and think you and her would be better as friends than partners. Try to phrase it as gently and caring as you can yet make it clear that you don't look at her in that way anymore. This does mean completely stop flirting with her and don't lead her on if your not going to be with her.
Make sure you wait a bit before you get with the second girl for it will hurt the 1st girl more if you move on straight away and it is probably better if you get to know her a bit better. You may find you like the 1st girl more.
I hope this helps, Good Luck xx
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