A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship with my BF for a little over a year. He doesn't trust me and I spend all my time with him. Now I feel like everything I say is wrong so I don't even speak. he gets so mad at me and tells me I'm a compulsive liar and a cheat Im depressed and feel like Ive got nothing and he thinks I hate him. How can I talk to him?
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male
reader, Passthrough +, writes (17 July 2008):
 More likely than not (hard truth: beware) once you have lost his trust, it's very hard to earn back...
I'm not saying you have lied too much, or cheated, nor am I saying he just thinks this for no reason.
If the reason is you, it will be very hard, and he is being fairly reasonable, but the relationship must end.
If the unreasonable person is him, try talking with him, with a friend (if your friends with any of his friend) or a family member.
Most likely, it's best to end the relationship.
A
female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (17 July 2008):
 No matter what you tell this guy, he will not believe you.
There might have been a factor that made him not trust you, but a guy at his age should act more mature than this. This guy is not good for you. This kind of conduct souldn't be expected at guys his age and really if he loved you, he would have seen for a solution for this trust problem.
The best advise here is to give up in the relationship because it will not work. Trust is the barrier in a relationship and he clearly doesn't give that and probably never will. Also, he insults you and degrades you to the point you have become depressed. ALthough this option sounds hard for you to do, you have to realize that the longer you keep it, the longer you'll suffer this way. This guy will probably not change and you have to leave him for your sake.
Sorry but it's very hard for you to convince him otherwise because he'll think you're lying. Good luck, still.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (17 July 2008):
 Yes, well, you actually haven't given us any of the details, for example, why he thinks that! It's rather difficult to give an opinion! But, there has to be something going on between you in order for him to feel this way. Perhaps you could write a much longer letter that explains what has happened between you?
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