A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: There's this girl that I've not properly met but i added her on facebook after a party over a year ago.. I started talking to her on it a few months ago rarely and I really like her. I've got a massive crush on her but because I've never actually met her properly so It's really hard to find ways of talking to her but when we do talk we get on really well. I don't know how to start a conversation with her on there now though, I can't just say 'hello' because that's out of the blue and it'd look like i stalk her or something. She probably doesn't know about me tbh but I love talking to her online and wish we could meet up but we don't know each other well enough for that. We just get on really well when we chat online. HELP!
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male
reader, ManAfterChrist +, writes (4 June 2011):
Jk on that last part. You already talk to her online? I missed that... Dude you have no worries. Go get 'er Tiger!
A
male
reader, ManAfterChrist +, writes (4 June 2011):
This is easy. I started my current relationship in your position ;)
I just Facebook messaged her, and said:
"Hey there!
How have you been [name]? I don't really hear anything about you. I guess that's a good thing you aren't part of [our hometown] gossip ;)
I hope all is well! I'd love to get some dinner next time I'm in town and hang out!"
We exchanged numbers, and I actually waited about two weeks before texting her. I had liked her back in High School, and this was a good few years later without seeing her, let alone we talked only a handful of times back in school.
Anyways, my point is that it WASN'T THAT HARD. I didn't put a ton of thought into it. I just went with a natural, nonthreatening tone. If she's not interested she'll let you know nicely. If she's interested, you're golden!
This is what I'd say in your shoes, but don't quote me because I don't want to be responsible for your relationship ;)
"Hey there! I know this may seem weird, but do you remember [Billy]'s party about a year ago? I just came across your profile and remembered seeing you there.. what a fun night [maybe throw in a SHORT story from the night]. Anyways, I just wanted to message you because I thought you might like to grab some dinner with me sometime? Let me know; it's my treat!
See ya around!"
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A
male
reader, DKW +, writes (3 June 2011):
Who initiates these chats? She or you? If she does, there may be hope, unless she sees you as just a friend...although you may have already put yourself in that position with your chats, we don't know! But you can't have too many friends, so nothing lost hey?
Take a chance, next time she's online pop up with a comment about something, some photo or other...then maybe say as you have so much to talk about maybe you should both hang out sometime? Or if you're too nervous for that, ask for her phone number to start texting? Then make sure you ask her out quick! For all you know, she may be thinking the same as you are, so don't make her wait!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (3 June 2011):
I'm sorry but I don't understand your question you are asking how to talk to this girl on-line but then you are saying you both get on really well on-line. You are kind of contradicting yourself there a little bit.
I guess if you want to keep in contact with her well then just use general chat. It is ok to say hello to her just ask her how her day was ect and just take it from there. The only way you are going to get to know her more is to start small talk with her and progress from there. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (3 June 2011):
You're chatting on line to her? Why not say something like, 'Hey, I really enjoyed chatting with you, you have a great sense of humour. Let's meet up for coffee or something, I need to get off the internet for a while and actually speak to someone in real life. What do you think? Would you be up for a coffee?' Then see what she says to that.
Faint heart never won fair maiden. You have to ask. Just keep it light and friendly and give her a chance to decline gracefully. And, not to put too fine a point on it, you have a huge crush on a girl you don't really know very well. You're basing your attraction on her looks and her personality may not be compatible with yours. So keep that in mind as you ask her for coffee. She may be a horrible, high-maintenance, self-centered bitch but you've gone ga-ga for her because she has luscious lips and breasts and puts up attractive photos of herself on FB.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2011): When you go on ask her how she is and just casually say 'haven't see you for a while', it's a good ice breaker. I've got a few people I want to talk to but get nervous about just randomly going on chat and saying hi but that always seems to work and then we end up chatting for hours. It might work for you and you don't need to worry about seeming like a stalker, she won't think that
Good luck
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