A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: This is sort of a dilemma. It's been a couple years since college graduation. My former roommate and female friend who have been together broke up not too long ago. I had visited them along with other friends from college.Well, the female friend have been talking, and it's talking that tends to be on a more personal level. As for my former roommate, we're not as close as were living together. We still talk and play games like we used to. I'm just getting a bit worried. My female friend may be developing an interest in me. I won't lie, she's a very cool girl. I just feel like I am nearing unstable territory. I may live far away now, but I still consider both my friends. Everyone is hoping I come visit again this year, and I plan to do so. However, I'm just not sure if I should be getting involved with this girl. It's been a while since they broke up, but I still feel like I could be hurting both sides. I've never had an opportunity with a girl like this, let alone, any girl interested in me. Do you think this is something I should stay away from?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2013): If you are having doubts like you are from the start then maybe it's a good idea to not pursue this girl. You are friends with both, so being in a relationship with her might jeopardize your relationship with your guy friend.
A
male
reader, playitagain-sam +, writes (30 May 2013):
Since you live a far distance apart it's safe to say nothing physical will develop in the near future. I think it's okay to keep talking with her and developing the friendship.
However, at some point, prior to your visiting of her, you'll have to check with your former roommate. If you want to stay friends with him, he'll need to be okay with you pursuing his ex-girlfriend.
If he is not okay with it, well then you have to choose between him or her. Not ideal.
Hopefully enough time has lapsed that he will be indifferent. Try to approach it lightly with him, say you think you have a small crush on the girl, and that although she'd never go for it, you kind of want to ask her out. Make it sound like not a big deal, or not likely to happen anyway.
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