A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been looking around on the web for advice to this question, but can't find a satisfactory answer. I have been dating the same girl for three years now, she's gorgeous and I love her, but she has some issues and we don't have sex very often. Every single day I am confronted with the urge to cheat on her, but at other moments I know that I should not. She still lives with her parents, and we only see each other a couple of times a week. I live alone in a downtown area, so I go out a lot, and have ended up getting drunk and kissing other girls on a few occasions, but so far it has not gone furher than that. Just last night I started kissing a girl, and she wanted to come home with me - I was really tempted but in the end said no - she couldn't believe it. I just can't make myself take that final step - yet. I feel if it continues like this it will only be a matter of time before I sleep with another girl. I know that people will advise me to just leave my girlfriend, but I honestly love her like crazy, and hope to marry her one day. At the same time, the temptation is so hard to deal with all the time. I can live with the guilt of making out with other girls, but to sleep with someone else would really make me feel terrible afterwards. What can I do to stay faithfull?
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male
reader, Tomas  +, writes (21 February 2009):
What satindesire said. The way you avoid temptation is you avoid putting yourself in situations where temptation can arise.
Knowing this can happen, you must realize that when you go to the bar to drink, you are deciding to cheat.
Maybe you back out, so far, but the going is your decision. It is where you have the most control. Once you get there and start drinking, you are giving up control.
And on another level, I'd say if you aren't willing to stop going to the bars and drink, you should explain this to your girlfriend and break up. There is nothing wrong with wanting to date and hook up and all that. If two people want to, their business.
But if your girlfriend is passing up on opportunities to do the same, or to meet someone who will be fully faithful to her, and you chose to play the field and take chances like you have, then you are robbing her of those same opportunities.
That's what is unfair.
So either take responsibility for your actions, or stop selfishly keeping your girlfriend for yourself. Stop cheating (snogging counts), or stop being in a relationship that makes this cheating.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2009): Temptation is a strong emotion! It is always in the back of your mind...waiting for a vulnerable moment!
The key is to strengthen your convictions, the reasons not to give in. If you have something good and truly do not want to lose it, you can fight off temptation. However, if there are any doubts or confusion...temptation can get the upper hand!
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A
female
reader, jamieanderson +, writes (20 February 2009):
 Hey,
I can understand the desire to cheat- it's something exiting and different, right? In alot of ways you are cheating on her already. Just kissing is not JUST kissing. You can't treat her in the way you are. What you need to do is tell her what you feel is wrong. If you don't get to see her enough then talk to her, ask to see her more. If you want to go out, ask her to go too. Just because you live where you do it shouldn't mean you go out drinking. At the moment this girl sounds like she deserves alot better than you. The only way to make a relationship work is to talk. You don't have to tell her you want to cheat on her- that will only hurt. If you don't want to see more of her and enjoy drinking and meeting other girls on the other hand, for gods sake let her go. Because it will only end up hurting her more when you go out and shag another woman and she finds out the hard way.
Talk to her, or let her go. It's the only way x
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A
male
reader, 23ConfusedOne23 +, writes (20 February 2009):
 You either cut out the temptations in you life or you let her go because she deserves to be happy. If you cheat on her it'll be a really selfish act and then you don't deserve her love.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009): if you truly love her, then you wouldnt be feeling this way anyway. but you need to think that, in the long run, are your feelnigs going to go away or just get stronger?
if you dont cheat on her now, and get married and have kids or whatever, 20, 25 years down the line, how can you know in yourself you will stay faithful?
you need to make the choice of your beautiful girlfriend who you say you LOVE, and stay faithful to her (this, unfortunately, means stop kissing other girls in pubs and clubs) OR you leave her altogether, as its not fair on her.
imaginr if she cheated on you, how would you feel?
choose and choose soon because she doesnt deserve to be hurt. let me know if this is helpful. x
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A
female
reader, prego_18 +, writes (20 February 2009):
think about what would happen if you did cheat and she found out or you felt so guilty and couldnt live with your self that you told her and she left you, if you really love her it would kill you if she left not really but emotionally so think of her when you see other girls thin of her hurting over what your doing see her leaving you
if its worth losing her do what you got to do but if you want to be with this girl make the next step
maybe if your ready ask her to live with you, you might have more sex
me and my man didnt have much sex when we didnt live together because time and who wants to plan sex
but now we do almost every night
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009): Shut the xxxx up. Just be faithfull or let this beautiful girl go and let her find a man that appreciates her. You fool, love her or don't love her.Its easy baby.Sorry to be so to the point, but it is as easy as that.
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