A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for around 2 years, and it is as brilliant as the first day we met. I'm so in love with him and him with me. I've decided I'd like to propose to him: he'd never expect it and it'd be so unconventional.Thing is, I'm not sure which way is the best way. Are there any female DearCupid-ers out there who did it, or any male that can give me some advice?x Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, niki0 +, writes (31 October 2007):
take him to his fave place get down on one knee and tell him you want to spend the rest of your life with him trust me i dont think he would say no x
A
male
reader, nflguy +, writes (8 October 2007):
I will also say that 16-17 is too young to get married. Why? Because the person you AND he will be at 27-30 yrs old is often WAY WAY WAY different then the person you are now. Once people reach their mid to late twenties they pretty much develop into the person they will be the rest of their lives.
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A
male
reader, nflguy +, writes (8 October 2007):
Don't propose to him. Despite what you might see in movies and on TV, guys don't like it. You are assuming the role of the man and that's not likely to go over well. Wearing a potato sack and calling yourself Professor Fruit-bowl would be unconventional as well. Doesn't make it a good idea.
Sorry to be such a downer on this. If it's meant to be then he will propose to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2007): well, this may give you an idea but may also put a downer on it.
i was with my bf for a year and a half, we're both 17, we'd talked about future plans (both agreed on the fact we'd love to spend our lives together), we were just laid on his bed looking out at the sky one evening, and he asked me if i'd marry him. it was said in a fairly casual way and hasn't been taken everso seriously (in that he said when the time was right he'd do the proper thing with the ring etc, and we didn't refer to ourselves as being engaged or anything)
point being, don't overdo it with trying to make it a special occasion, just make it casual, more bringing it up in a conversation. then if he's scared you can just say you were meaning more long term, if he's not scared away then..you can refer to yourselves as being engaged!
but anyway, to end my story, we've now split up and he's back with his ex! (sorry i know you're not wanting to hear the whole age thing but..) we were too young to be making such a life changing decision, because everything just changes too much right now. i know our situations are probably different, but we loved each other, we were perfect for each other and had we been older we would probably be properly engaged, but there's just much more important things to be thinking about right now. do you not want to go to university? could your relationship last through university? you may be an anomaly to this, but most relationships built too young either have a rocky future or just don't last.
think it through very carefully, and when you talk about it to him make sure you talk seriously about the future, university, your careers etc and don't try to build your lives around each other too young.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2007): Hi, I'm the poster of the question.
I am fully aware of my age (please stop bringing it up, I can't help being chronologically challenged), but my boyfriend and I have spoken about our relationship from the very beginning, it is long term and it is meaningful, we have spoken about our future together and over two years, these views have not changed. We WANT to spend our lives together.
My original question though, was how do I go about this without (as anneon said) him feeling emasculated?
x
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A
female
reader, Pinkbees09 +, writes (7 October 2007):
Your only 16 or 17, that is a bit too young in my opinion but if you think your making the right choice, go ahead and do it but make sure your parents will be behind you.
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A
female
reader, anneon +, writes (7 October 2007):
At 16-17 years old... I would think long and hard before I got engaged to a guy... Have you two ever talked about getting married? Do you ever talk about your long term future?
Some guys would feel emasculated if their girlfriends proposed to them, so it's risky to do.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (7 October 2007):
I think you should reconsider. But then, I don't know the guy.
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