A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have known this guy for a couple of years now and we have gone on a couple of dates. Well.... last week we had sex, but he let me know that he he is not interested in a girlfriend and Im not interested in a boyfriend. I want to be FWB but also have a best friend but also mess around with!!how do i offer this situation without sounding like a whore???HELP!!!!!
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female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (22 March 2012):
 FWB things don't work unless, like me, you have a LOT of friends, so you'd better be very sure what you want.
You can, of course, try to be straightforward about yo feelings with him - "I think we had a wonderful time last week and I'd love to do it again sometime. That said, I'm not looking for a relationship and hope you are not either, because if you are, I think we had best stick to being just friends."
Warning you again, though - not likely to end well.
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (22 March 2012):
 FWB are complicated things, people develop feelings and get upset when they are not treated well. It's purely a sex thing, and can destroy friendships.If you've already gone on a couple of dates, you sure your not trying to keep this guy as a boyfriend. Be very careful that you don't fall in love and let this guy use you.If it really is a proper FWB, friends who sometimes have sex, then don't say nothing, don't make no contract, just continue as friends. When the opportunity for sex comes up, just ask him if he is interested. By turning your friendship into a formal FWB, you'll lose a friend, probably lose his respect and will cut yourself of from ever having a romantic relationship with this guy. If he really is a friend, don't count on him being there whenever you need sex, that makes him into a lover or a stud, and that's nothing to do with friendship.Say nothing, just let things happen naturally.
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A
female
reader, Deagan +, writes (22 March 2012):
 Are you sure you want to go down this path?
Because a FWB relationship will inevitably result in one of the following:
1. You start to have feelings for him and want more than FWB when he specifically told you he was not interested in having a girlfriend. It will result in you feeling hurt.
2. He meets someone, starts seeing a girl, and you become jealous. It will result in you feeling hurt.
3. Your best friend dynamic changes, for better or for worse, and it will never be able to go back to the way it was. It will result in you feeling hurt.
Catch my drift?
FWB never bodes well. Just stop while you're ahead.
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A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (22 March 2012):
 Hun,
What you want...............nest friend and sex to us women usually means a relationship. FWB means sex but no emotional support from him, no commitment, obviously, no phone calls the next day to see how you're feeling.......no strings. This will only benefit him and sooner or later you will want more and end up getting hurt............are you certain this is what you really want or is this just a way to keep him close by because you really like him?
I think you should think twice before offering him this and realize that its a lot more complicated then it looks on paper.............................xx
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A
male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (22 March 2012):
Honey, you have a best friend already that you mess around with and then you go and have sex with someone else, but you want to have that one too, regularly but without commitments? Just what IS your definition of whore here?
And is it that you are trying not to be one or is it that you just don't want to be perceived as one?
I mean really, these are not the actions of someone who is overly concerned about their reputation. It sounds to me like you may be having second thoughts about what you are doing, not how it looks. Anyone reading this question already knows what this looks like. Follow your conscious, it looks like you may be developing one (hopefully).
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