A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:There is a lady I see in line most days at the coffee shop. We smile and wave at each other and last year she introduced herself. I didn't know what to say, so I shook her hand but that is as far as it has gone. I feel like we have some kind of connection and although never did before I believe now in love at first sight. This has been going on close to a year. My fear of rejection is so strong. I NEED HELP!!! How do I go about starting a conversation with her and asking for a DATE?????? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, dollparts +, writes (14 March 2007):
 just go up to her and start up a conversion and keep this running through your head its her loss if she doesnt want to you know? then you can walk out with your head held high knowing that you did it and thats all that matters you know??
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2007): You are man aged, 41-50. You should fully understand there is no such thing as 'love at first sight', hun. Love is something precious and takes many, many months, sometimes years and huge, huge efforts to even get remotely near true love. It's an action based on the conviction of commitment not on the rush nor the ebb and flow of emotions. However, there is infatuation/lust at first sight. That is simply what you are feeling.
First of all, get your fear of rejection in perspective. It sounds like you are very lonely and that leads to blatant needieness which is like a neon red flag to all females you may like. You have to just talk to her and slowly ease into her life, as a friend. There is always a risk when you want to date or get to know someone better. Keep telling yourself that your self-doubts are no longer an option. Your self-doubts are causing this negative emotional turmoil within you. Gotta stop doing that to yourself, guy. All these fears and self-doubts is eating away at your confidence. Now, no one wants to get rejected because it is not in our human nature to know how to accept it. Life and love offers many, many hurdles in the road. This is a hurdle.All of us trip and fall, over and over again. So rather than focusing on what she may or may not feeling-make some positive changes to your attitude. Let her see a confident man. You can only work on yourself and just keep a positive happy attitude about this prospective friendship and you may find out-she likes you very much-and all this emotional energy was a waste of time. Smile and have fun-use this energy towards making your life happier! That is what she'll take note of about you. Good luck and Take care!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2007): Be a man. Talk to her. You don't just ask her out you first establish a talking relationship. Eventually you ask her if she is involved with anyone. If she saids no, ask her out. Confidence is very attractive. The lack thereof is very unattractive. Fake some confidence.
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A
female
reader, sunrise  +, writes (13 March 2007):
 Hi, you have to take the bull by the horns and go for it, you'll always be wondering what the outcome could have been. Just ask her to join you for coffee or ask if you can join her and introduce yourself and take it from there. no-one likes rejection. if she declines to join you or have you join her then you will know that she is just being friendly with her jestures, try not to be embarrassed or show your disappointment then who knows, she may change her mind at some point and knowing your interested may well approach you. Good luck x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2007): You should just take a breath and do it. If she wasn't interested in you at all, she'd have never introduced herself. Besides, can you really live with the fact that something was possible, but never came about b/c you were scared of her saying no?
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