A
female
age
51-59,
*udyChua
writes:I'm feeling tired of my marriage after 16 years. My husband and I are sleeping in separate rooms - I can't stand him touching me. We do not quarrel/argue that much - in fact, we hardly communicate. Right now, I have a crush on my young hairstylist. He's from China and he's rather conservative - would not even have dinner with me. Have problems accepting gifts from me as well - however small they may be. I know the age gap is there. I've been telling myself it is impossible between us - maybe I should treat me as a godson. I would send phone messages to him (on trivial things) but he does not respond unless he needs to answer my questions. I would think of him and miss him. Please help. I do not wish to lose him (in case I frightened him away with my actions - showering him with gifts, etc). I don't mind just being an ordinary friend. Help!! I'm confused.
View related questions:
crush Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, JudyChua +, writes (14 October 2008):
JudyChua is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the response. I believe you are all correct.. In fact I think I'm just in denial - I know I should not be doing this. I'm trying my best to distance myself and to treat him as an ordinary friend - which he has no objection to. In fact when I was feeling down the past week, he gave me some sound advice.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (13 October 2008):
 You are making yourself look ridiculous chasing after your hairstylist. Get a grip and act your age. He knows you are married and is trying to be respectful to your husband as well as you but he obviously doesn't want what you apparently do. If your marriage isn't something you want to fix then get a divorce but whatever you do you should behave yourself with honor and integrity.
...............................
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (13 October 2008):
 Why don't you start by ending your marriage....or fixing it. That is the first obstacle any potential man will have to get over. Then you can do or say anything you like. Is your hair stylist in a relationship, merely uninterested, gay, shy ? There could be a million reasons.
...............................
A
female
reader, babomi  +, writes (13 October 2008):
 for a great deal of chinese men,
- age is very important, relationships are made for marriage, marriage is made to build a family ...
- parents must approve of the relationship and the partner
- they can be married or in a committed relationship and living apart for long periods of time, with the children taken care of by the grandparents, it s pretty common
- they don t talk easily of their personal feelings
- they re rather macho, i think showering him with gifts can hurt his pride, the man is the provider
it s a hard nut to break in your situation it seems, but as u said, u ve a crush because your marriage is making you unhappy, u d better start to solve the problem there
...............................
|
