A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I still live with my parents. I just got out of high school, and i'm rooming here until college. But i had my boyfriend over. And we wanted to watch a movie. So we got online and found one on netflix. We got on the couch and cuddled. And we had a blanket on because it was freezing. And my dad came in and was flipping out because our hands were under the blanket. As soon as he left they flipped out at me like I was a baby who didn't know what I was doing. How do i make him realize that I am not a little kid anymore? Or better yet, how can he gain more trust in me? Because he is making me mad.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2011): Yeah time for the "my house, my rules" talk. I dont see anything wrong in what you did. Then again, Im not a parent. I think it would impress your father if you initiated the convo calmly and politely and sorted thru what is on his mind and perhaps that of your mother as well. This way you can set ground rules and establish good communication when it comes to knowing what is allowed and not allowed when boy toys are in the house :p. Parents are usually willing to compromise on some things with dating so have some suggestions ready. Good luck.
A
female
reader, LostInMyself +, writes (18 January 2011):
 Sorry to hear that.
It's your parents rules. If they dislike you under the covers with your bf, you kind of have to suck it up because you are living under their rules. If you are in the living room, and just under a blanket and they flipped out--- then I understand you. If you were locked up in your room, I'm sure you can understand their concern.
If you were on the living room just with a blanket on and nothing else was happening--- I would try to CALMLY explain this to them. Because if you start to whine and pout and make a fuss they will see you a a little girl. So respectfully, tell them nothing was happening (if nothing really was) and tell them that it was on the living room where everyone could see.
Now, if you are locked up in a room or something that is different. Your parents will always see you as their little girl, so you have to try and respect their rules for a while and in your own place you can do what you wanna do. Meanwhile try talking to them to see what they find correct or incorrect and maybe you can work out a deal.
For example, my mom did not allow closed doors when I was with my bf-- but he could come into my room , as long as the door was open. we could cuddle and watch a movie in the living room couch, as look as it wasn't borderline. So try talking to them...see what happens. GL.
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A
female
reader, Battista  +, writes (18 January 2011):
I don't necessarily think it's just about them thinking you are a kid, to me it sounds like it's about what does and doesnt' go on in your parents' house. Clearly your dad assumed the worst and jumped in at the deep end which was unfortunate and a bit unfair on you, however, he just might not want his kids having sexual activity/sex in his house. OK, I know you weren't having sex but he probably sees it as a natural progression. And of course allied to that IS that fact that you are his little girl. I'm afraid, however, that it boils down to his house= his rules, and until you head off to college you need to abide by whatever those are, no matter how old you are.
Also, just have a think about this aspect; you come in to your house and you find people cuddled up on your sofa under a blanket. I don't think it looks good myself, and I think it maybe does look inappropriate and a bit childish. If I were your bf I would be really embarrassed to be found like that by somebody's dad. I don't think it is respectful to your parents as owners of the house, that's all I'm trying to say.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (18 January 2011):
 You'll always be his little girl. I would sit him down and talk. Parents fear for their kids, and believe it or not your dad was your boyfriend's age once, and knowing what can happen under a blanket probably spooked him. Tell him that as an adult, you know what's required in his house, and that he must trust that you have control and respect for his home. Be adult about it, but whatever you say, you must make sure your actions meet your words. If you say nothing is happening under the blanket and if he walked in and found different at any time, your "trust me" will be destroyed. You're not a little kid, but when it comes to bringing boys to the home, your parents still have the right to set the rules. It may not seem fair, but when you have your own place you get to be the one to set the rules.
Take care.
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