A
female
age
30-35,
*abyminow
writes:So there is this guy that likes me, alot. but i just dont feel the same way about him. i just dont have the heart to tell him. he is so sweet, and really a cool friend. but honestly i dont see us having a relationship ever. he is the friend type of guy. nice, sweet, but not really boyfriendy. he is a year older than me as well. i keep trying to give him hints, but he just isnt catching on. quite the opposite actually. anyway what my question is: what is a good way to let him know that i dont feel the same way without hurting him? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, sandra78 +, writes (27 December 2008):
I understand that you don't want to hurt him. He sounds like a good guy, and boys are very fragile @ his age. I would say simply, without being to blunt, that you value your friendship and you don't want to take a chance of ruining it.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008): Tell him you are sorry but you don't find him attractive. When he kicks off.
Ask him if you would rather you lied and string him along.
Tell him you respect him to much as a person to do that and he will make a fine man for another woman just that it's not you.
Honesty... He will look back and rate you highly.
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A
female
reader, ??????????????????????????????????????????????????  +, writes (26 December 2008):
aw. ive been in this position once. very difficult.maybe if you dont have the heart to tell him hes not the guy for you. why not trying to make him see your not the girl for him? be different to who you are.
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A
female
reader, babyminow +, writes (26 December 2008):
babyminow is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008): There is no such way its like you fancying a famous guy him coming up to you and going "ye . . . this is awkward . . . leave me alone." You just have to tell and he needs to deal with it coz its not fair on you! Making you feel bad for you saying how you feel! He'l get over you eventually. Its only if he was like "in love" with you then I think you'd need a deeper conversation.
All the best xx
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A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (26 December 2008):
 Excellent question!! You will need to sit him down look him in the eye and tell him you just don't feel the same way. If you say you want to be friends you will need to maintain that too. Otherwise don't bother being his friend or it will get worse. "Tell" him you'll need some time for both you and him to let it pass by and eventually he may realize that this means keeping in contact he will most likely eventually prefer to be friends. This should work. Communication is the key!! if you cut it off he could become obsessive. And you will lose a potentially good friend. Just keep communicating as a friend that's it.
If you do this it will help him in the future. He won't do it to anyone else.
But be sure you want to do this he's a rare find. Try to keep as a friend don't just say it mean it and maintain it.
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A
female
reader, xxsecretsxx +, writes (26 December 2008):
 No matter what its going to hurt him hun, however, tell him straight out that you only want to be friends with him and there isn't anything there other than frienship. Hopefully he takes it right.
Him not getting the hints might be worse for him. He might tink in some way you do like him back, so tell him.
don't be harsh, be honest.
-trich.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2008): what you could do is just say at the moment you're not lookin for a relationship and just want to stay single and have a lot of good friends around you
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