A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok i really need some advice. My wife and i have been married for 7 years and together since we were 16,friends before that! So i've been there through pretty much all of her life,through the ups and downs etc. Her dad died about a week ago, the funeral was the saturday just gone.She was alot better than i expected there but now somethng has got the idea in her head that shes going to loose me,that i'm going to leave her. Shes never been one to show when shes upset although it shows she tries her best to hide it. she just won't open up to me, she hasn't said in exact words but i think one reaosn is because she is afraid she will loose me because shes addmited shes scared of loosing me because i asked her why don't you talk to me more. Ok maybe is wasn't the best choice of words but by that time it was really getting to me and upsetting me having to see her like this and i also miss him just because i'm a man and the fact that i honestly don't cry very often and nothing can compare to how much her,her brother and her mum miss him. I know one way her brothers been deling with it is to wind her up alot, i suppose trying to pick fight with her because well its hard to explain but i suppose it helps him and they maybe in their 30's but u'd wonder sometimes when you see thewm arguing over the tiny things. You can just tell that inside shes crying and she finding it really hard to hold it all back but although i don't want her to i can't exactlly force it out of her can i? I just want to help her but don't know how! How can i make her realise shes not going to loose me and that shes worring over nothing and that she can talk to me. IS there anyway i can stop her from bottling it up. Please help anything would be deeply appiciated! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, BlueEyedAngel  +, writes (8 October 2007):
 I lost my dad when i was 21 and it took me a while to get on with my life normally. I was his baby girl and i felt like since he passed away everybody close to me was gonna leave me astray, be patient with her. It will get better with her i promise just be there and let her know you will be there for her. Leave her little notes telling her you love her and will be there for her. She will realize that when she starts to feel better. Good luck and take care of her.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2007): My dad died when i was just 19, i had been married for 11 months and the pain just never went away. All these years later i still think about him everyday. Just be there for your wife no matter what she may say she needs you more than ever. Her brother sounds like he is hurting inside too.Give her loads of hugs and cuddles.
take care
xxx
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A
female
reader, terrifenby +, writes (8 October 2007):
 you need to understand that it will be hard for her to talk about things right now! the best thing you can do is say that you will be there when she waants to talk and will always be there for her! take her out some where treat her, let her know how much you love her and that will be enough for her to realise what she has got!talk about the good times she had with her dad but dont press her to talk if she doesnt want to! us women are very strange creatures(ha ha) and more than any thing we need to know that you love us and need us just as much as we need you! you dont have to take my advice but i do hope that it helps you and i hope that you and your wife get through this and become even stronger than what you already are!
best wishes terri fenby
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A
female
reader, nikiem +, writes (8 October 2007):
 if something like that happened to me it would hurt me also all i can say is hold her let her know how much u love her and that u would never leave her let her know that u are with her no matter what that u are gonna be with her through all this hope it works out for the best
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