A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I need help! i feel so lonely and down! All my friends have BFs and im constantly playing goosebery! I try to make excuses not to go out with my friends everyweek because they all bring along ther fellas which i think is great coz we all get along so well but im just soooo fed up of being the odd one out! I cant tell them how i feel because i dont want them to feel bad or stop doing things they enjoy doing with their bfs just to please me! I know that most of the replies to this will be well go find urself a bf then but i just havnt got the confidence anymore! id been seein this really gr8 guy from work for about a week when my nan died a year ago which completely messed me up as i was so close to her and he just went really cold, ignoring my texts and not answering my calls! and when i finaly got intouch with him he said i needed time to grieve alone i told him that i couldnt cope if he walked now id just lost one of the most important people in my life and i couldnt lose him too but he handed in his notice at work and was never seen again! Im not stupid and im not dwelling over him as i would never take him back after what he did, but i just cant put my trust in another man because im scared theyl leave me at a time when i need them most too!Im scared im going to lose my friends because i keep making silly excuses not to go out! and by not going out im feeling more and more alone! im in a very vicious circle and its spiraling out of control and dragging me down with it!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2007): Thanks to MOST of the replies there, they have certainly made me think and in time im sure i will bounce back im jst going throgh a difficlt patch in my life right now.
But just to point out it was my NAN that died not my aunt! and no she never replaced the role of my mother. Im trully sorry if i sound like a soap opera but theres not a lot i can do about how close the bond between me and my Nan was! after all in my oppinion she was a gr8 person!
Thanks again for the advice
XxX
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2007): You have a right to feel the way to do and i do understand. I have been through hell in my life and some of it i just will never tell a living soul, so i do feel your pain.
In time you will trust another person and life will be great but for now you have to get by. I did it by taking each day at a time. Get into bed and feel good about yourself. Do something that you really like and enjoy. Make something. Have you a hobby or a craft that you like, if not then learn a one. I learnt how to paint watercolours (sorry if this sounds boring to you), i also learnt myself to crochet. I'd put some great music on in the house and have a dance around. Just to liven myself up.
Look at the pluses, you have your life and you are healthy.
I'm not going to tell you to get out there and meet a bloke, that will happen when the time is right.
I know where you are coming from and you can get in touch if you want.
Take care
xx
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (8 October 2007):
 Hi,
What would you do if this was one of your friends. Put yourself in that position, and think about it again. Would you want them to come out with you and your B/F. If you are any kind of friend of course you would.
I understand that its hard being the odd one out, but you should be gratefull that they care about you so much. And if they didnt want you, they wouldn't ask would they?.
As for your previous partner, there not all like that you know.
XX
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