A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:hi, please please tell me what i should do? A friend of mine have been dating with her bf for 1 month. On this friday it will be her bf's birthday, and her bf said that he doesn't want to go any where with her, but instead wants to go with the guys, This message was heard by my friend and now she is crying. i told her that maybe he doesn't want to go because he wants private space, but then she told me that a birthday should always be celebrated or hang out with the ones who someone cares and loves. What should i tell my friend to make her less worried? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (6 May 2014):
 Your friend has unrealistic expectations of her bf after a month… She does not own him and he doesn’t want a fuss about his birthday. Does she expect him to love her after a month and drop his friends!? Ridiculous! It’s not love at this stage for him or any guy.
Plus he’s knows his friends a lot longer than her, it’s no question he should be hanging out with his friends on his birthday
If she wants, she needs to dry up those tears real quick and offer to cook him a nice dinner or make a picnic lunch and celebrate it the next day with him. He should like that offer better than hearing about her crying like a baby.
CAA
A
male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (6 May 2014):
 Your friends has been with her Bf for a month. It realistically not going to be as serious relationship after such as short space of time, although I can understand that it can seem that way to your friend.Its sounds as if her BF simply wants to enjoy a "lads night out" on his birthday, and may well have planned it before he met his GF. He will probably be seeing friends he has grown up with, known all his life and will be closer to in many ways than a GF of just one month. Talk of love after a single month is a little premature and im sure he loves his friends. That doesn't mean he wont develop a true, deep love for her or that he is not committed to her.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (6 May 2014):
 They have been dating ONE month. Nothing is set in stone yet.
Him having a day out with his FRIENDS who he has know a LOT longer is not a SNUB towards her.
She can still do something nice for him, but I would suggest she doesn't go over the top. IT HAS BEEN ONE month!
And crying over it? Did she think a little drama would change his mind?
Tell her to RELAX.
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A
male
reader, RevMick +, writes (6 May 2014):
 Hi,
Space in a relationship is really not a bad thing. Everyone needs some space, I would look into the context. As you say it's only been a month and he is still clinging to being a single bloke and having a night out with the mates.
It could be a sign, that she is investing too much of her emotions, too soon. I would say to her that it isn't a big issue, unless she makes it a big issue.
Are they both the same age, is this her first boyfriend? All of this can impact on her emotions and her feelings.
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female
reader, cattycakes +, writes (6 May 2014):
It is a shame to worry. In the next few years his mates will all have girlfriends and there will likely be parties for all. If he wants to celebrate his youth with male friends he has known for years, it will be one of the few chances. I would tell her not to be sad, but to be happy for him. If she can show some understanding on this occasion she will win more of his love. I recommend that she asks him whether he would prefer to meet him for lunch that day or do something nice the following evening. I don't think she should worry about whether or not he loves her more than his mates. the two things are totally different and he will be thinking he would like a girl who is cool and understanding enough to let him be free without making him feel bad. Difficult I know but so many girls go wrong here. You have only been together a month and I am sure that he cares about her a lot. If she can have the good grace to step aside on this one occasion you will make him happy and he will know that she can be trusted to make sure that his wishes are respected. She won't like me saying this but if she makes a fuss and tries to take ownership it will be very off-putting. They are young, not engaged or married. To keep things special she needs to let the fresh air of being young and free, blow through their relationship. I promise her it will pay off and help their relationship get stronger. it is only new, this is a test.
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